5
Aug

Cristiano Ronaldo promotes goofy Japanese “facial fitness” product

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You may remember the story we posted a couple weeks ago about Cristiano Ronaldo joining a Japanese game show and watching in horror as the host tried out a “facial fitness” product that CR7 has been “promoting,” probably by force for an insane amount of money:

Well, wouldn’t you know it, this preposterous new product now has a TV commercial. And yes, it is just as absurd as you would have imagined.

Enjoy:

What is that, the “Shake Weight” for cheekbones? Is this real life?

No wonder that Ronaldo at no point actually uses the product. He already has perfect bone structure.

There’s more, too.

MTG _CR, the company behind this… cheek-strengthening device(?)… also had Ronaldo promote another of their products: An elegant handheld personal massager featuring a pair of what can only be described as disco balls.

This one, Ronaldo actually seems to enjoy using:

H/T SB Nation.

10
Apr

Pele diamond statues created from his own DNA

Yes, this is really a thing.

For the bargain price of $7,500 you can now own a special World Cup souvenir — a diamond figurine made of diamonds that actually contain DNA extracted from Pele’s hair.

A total of 1,238 of these special edition statues will be available for purchase, one for each goal Pele is said to have scored in his legendary career.

3
Jan

The 13 quirkiest blogs of 2013

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2013 was a wild year, to say the least. A 20-month-old baby was signed by a Belgian pro soccer club, Spain’s national team was rumored to be involved in a strip poker scandal while at the Confederations Cup, and on more than one occasion, referees were seen punching and kicking players. But none of those stories cracked our countdown of the best the blog had to offer. So without further ado, take a look back at the greatest, craziest, weirdest, and funniest stories of the year:

  1. Ronaldinho launched his own condom line in 2013.
  2. We found the real-life Air Bud, World Cup Pup:
  3. Sir Alex Ferguson’s last piece of gum chewed as Man United manager sold for $640,000 on eBay.
  4. Speaking of the internet, remember #DempseyWatch? Good timesimage
  5. Liverpool loanee Andre Wisdom got lost on his way to a home match and drove his Porsche straight into a giant mud pit.image
  6. Perhaps Wisdom wishes he had been loaned out to Dutch team NEC instead. The club offered players a free bikini car wash if they won the MOTM award as a new motivational ploy.image
  7. The world’s unluckiest goalkeeper (watch his series of bloopers) was charged with biting a man’s ear off.
  8. Speaking of keepers, a lower-division team in Slovenia came up with a new goalie drill:
  9. We finally found out what happens when David Beckham visits China. Mainly, seriously dangerous stampedes.image
  10. Another thing we learned in 2013: how to take corner kicks under water:
  11. Burnley FC’s mascot actually got arrested after trolling the linesman.
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  12. A lower league manager in England miraculously woke up from a coma after his wife told him his team won their final league match.
  13. And finally, not to be outdone: a French weather lady (and a porno website) had to pay up after betting that the national team would fail to make the World Cup:Starts at 1:40 mark