24
Jan

Goalkeeper scolded for falling out of tree trying to save cat

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If you saw a cat stuck in a tree, would you save it?

Victor Francoz did, but paid dearly for it. The French goalkeeper for English semi-pro side Oxford City fell out of the tree and injured himself while trying to save a cuddly feline. Francoz will have to miss two weeks of action thanks to a deep gash in his calf. And to make matters worse, his coach Mike Ford has “no sympathy” for the fallen hero.

Ford told The Oxford Mail:

"It’s ridiculous. I’ve not got any sympathy for him at all because he’s done it to himself. He fell out of a tree when he was trying to get a cat.

He’s got a deep cut and unfortunately now we don’t have Victor because he’s gone back to France for a couple of weeks to have treatment. You just don’t get professional players climbing trees.”

The 23-year-old signed for the club this past summer with hopes of a playing career in England, but will now be unable to take part in Oxford’s next few games. His worst-case scenario? The fireman stunt may cost him his place as first-choice goalkeeper.

Dude, next time try 911.

H/T The Guardian

11
Jan

Wardrobe Malfunction! Ricardo Carvalho puts shirt on backwards

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Oops!

Monaco defender Ricardo Carvalho forgot how to put a shirt on correctly after removing his undershirt per referee’s orders. Rushed as he tried to rejoin the match, Carvalho put it own backwards by mistake.

To Carvalho’s defense, he’s not alone. Wardrobe malfunctions seem to have become more of a thing among footballers in recent years. Just ask Mario “Bibotelli:”

"He can’t even get his bib on there, Ray."

H/T Metro

Snapshot via Metro

25
Nov

Home Run!? Chelsea player shoots ball right out of the park

Every once in a while, a shot is hit so badly off the mark, shanked so sky-high that the TV announcer will joke, “This one’s hit to the moon!,” or “This shot’s off to (insert geographic location outside the grounds here)!”

Well this weekend, Chelsea loanee Gael Kakuta literally blasted a ball out of the stadium.

Kakuta, who along with fellow Blues player Lucas Piazon is on loan at Eredivisie leaders Vitesse Arnhem, scored in the team’s 3-0 win over the Go Ahead Eagles (that’s actually their name; take note, Hull City Tigers, it could be worse) on Sunday.

Perhaps brimming with optimism after that goal, Kakuta went for a long-distance shot just ten minutes later. Unfortunately, this time he launched the ball straight out of the (admittedly tiny) 8,000-seat De Adelaarshorst grounds. A lucky, unsuspecting passer-by then scooped up the ball and happily went on his way with what could be an excellent present just in time for the holiday season.

Shouldn’t something like this only happen in baseball?

(H/T Dirty Tackle)

24
Nov

Fail! 3-on-0 breakaway ends in astonishing miss

Note: Start at the 2:56 mark

The Coupe de France is open to all amateur and professional football clubs in the country (even overseas territories) so you can imagine that the competition’s first few rounds can get a little sloppy. Professional clubs don’t even enter until the seventh round, at which point there are still 176 teams in the running (not including Ligue 1 sides, who enter later).

AS Nancy, though, are a second-division side and should probably not be looking this incompetent. Taking on third-division side RC Strasbourg, Nancy found themselves on a 3-on-0 breakaway (that’s right, zero defenders), and still managed to make a mess of it. With just the keeper to beat after Strasbourg’s entire back line decided to take the play off, one Nancy player calmly laid it off to No. 14 at the top of the box. But with the open goal at his mercy, he inexplicably skied it!

Luckily for these ‘negative Nancys,’ the team still hung on for a 2-1 win.

12
Nov

Incredible miss! Unknown player shanks empty-netter from a few yards out

Doesn’t matter if you’re playing in the World Cup, the semi-pro leagues in England, or in a little town called Zivinice, Bosnia and Herzegovina. If you manage to miss an empty net from three yards out, the internet will find it, publish it — occasionally accompanied by pulsating theme music from ’70s cop dramas — and exploit your impotence forever and always.

Well, until the next fail comes along.

H/T 101GG

10
Nov

Bizarre goal scored by player’s buttocks

NOTE: Scroll to 0:40 second mark

Dear goalkeepers,

We appreciate your abilities to initiate counter-attacks. Speeding up play with a quick punt up-field can certainly catch opposing defenses on the back foot sometimes. But — and this is key — before you do, just make sure an opponent’s bum isn’t directly in the way. Please?

Sincerely, head coaches everywhere

Oita Trinita backstop Keisuke Shimizu learned the hard way this weekend against Albirex Niigata. A tad overeager to catch the defense napping, Shimizu punted the ball immediately after catching a long header in the area. Unfortunately, an opponent was standing right in the way, the ball ricocheted off the player’s backside, and the ball looped back into Shimizu’s own net!

Oita Trinita, no strangers to bottoming out (they’re currently in last place in the J-League), went on to lose, 3-1.

via 101GG

30
Sep

Süper Lig defender wrongly thinks ball is out of play, leads to goal

NOTE: Fast-forward to the 2:30 mark

A defender’s disastrous lack of judgement sealed Eskişehirspor’s victory over Kasımpaşa in the Turkish Süper Lig this weekend.

With Eskişehirspor up 1-0 late in stoppage time, Kasımpaşa’s Ryan Donk saw a high-arching ball bounce near the touchline and heading out of play. With his side desperately searching for a last-minute equalizer, Donk quickly turned up-field to find another ball to throw in to his teammates.

But alas, Donk failed to realize that the original ball took a devilish bounce and somehow stayed in play!

With the defender nowhere in sight, Eskişehirspor gladly accepted the gift. Former West Ham striker Diomansy Kamara finished off the 2-on-1 breakaway to close out the match in bizarre fashion.

H/T 101GG

26
Sep

Flamengo midfielder Elias misses goal from one yard out

I want to take a moment to thank you, soccer, for your never-ending supply of blunders. It truly is a privilege to sift through each new batch of fresh goal-scoring fails, the kind that bring us to tears, every single week.

But alas, botched sitters in soccer are a dime a dozen. The truly great ones, the best misses of them all, those are the ones we live for here on the blog. The fails that simply defy science, that make you question just how, how on God’s green earth, some of these players can consider themselves professionals. Fails like Flamengo captain Elias’s, come to mind.

Watch and relish in the Brazilian’s agony as he fails to deliver the ball into the wide-open goalmouth from just one yard out — ONE yard! — instead somehow sending it into Row 5. Truly a woeful, shambolic effort that deserves entry into our Hall of Shame.

So welcome to the club, Elias, the We Defy Physics With Our Ineptitude Club.

11
Sep

Have a laugh! Check out the worst corner kick ever

Denmark secured a crucial 1-0 victory at Armenia in World Cup qualifying Wednesday, profiting from the home side’s failure to replicate the form it showed in the reverse fixture, a 4-0 victory for the European minnows.

Comically bad set pieces such as this one by Spartak Moscow’s Aras Ozbiliz probably didn’t help Armenia’s cause:

Is this the worst attempt at a corner you’ve ever seen? It’s certainly worse than even this gem from January:

Rough.