Good news, everyone: a new soccer movie premiered at the Cannes Film Festival this weekend!
The bad news: it’s on FIFA.
Following the creation and history of FIFA through the eyes of World Cup founder Jules Rimet, former president João Havelange and current boss Sepp Blatter (cringe), the movie is called “United Passions” and looks just as terrible as the title would suggest.
Tim Roth stars as Blatter, Sam Neill as Blatter’s predecessor Havelange, while Gérard Depardieu strangely gets the role of Jules Rimet, despite looking like a bloated version of Blatter in real life.
Clearly they messed the roles up:
The movie flatteringly portrays the three men as “mavericks” and “visionaries” of the world’s game, and according to reports Blatter himself tweaked some of the script. Surprise, surprise.
It also cost around $32 million to make, with FIFA providing a cool $27 million of that sum.
Basically, it has all the makings to be a historically bad film. Watch the trailer below if you need further convincing:
We may have finally found a worse soccer movie than the “Goal” trilogy.