This new soccer movie looks fun…


Good news, everyone: a new soccer movie premiered at the Cannes Film Festival this weekend!

The bad news: it’s on FIFA.

Following the creation and history of FIFA through the eyes of World Cup founder Jules Rimet, former president João Havelange and current boss Sepp Blatter (cringe), the movie is called “United Passions” and looks just as terrible as the title would suggest.

Tim Roth stars as Blatter, Sam Neill as Blatter’s predecessor Havelange, while Gérard Depardieu strangely gets the role of Jules Rimet, despite looking like a bloated version of Blatter in real life.

Clearly they messed the roles up:


The movie flatteringly portrays the three men as “mavericks” and “visionaries” of the world’s game, and according to reports Blatter himself tweaked some of the script. Surprise, surprise.

It also cost around $32 million to make, with FIFA providing a cool $27 million of that sum.

Basically, it has all the makings to be a historically bad film. Watch the trailer below if you need further convincing:

We may have finally found a worse soccer movie than the “Goal” trilogy.


Trailer to “Next Goal Wins” looks incredible


American Samoa are, by many accounts, the worst national soccer team in history.

Currently ranked 196th out of 207 national teams in the FIFA rankings, American Samoa were joint-worst from their inception into FIFA in 1994 all the way to 2011. They’ve given up 294 goals in 42 matches. And last but not least, they hold the record for the most lopsided loss of all time, a 31-0 defeat to Australia.

Thirty-one to nothing. To Australia.

Enter Thomas Rongen, who previously coached DC United and the USA’s Under-20 national team. Rongen took over American Samoa in 2011, looking to make their losing ways losing-by-double-digit ways a thing of the past. To track progress, a film crew followed the team around on their quest to win a game, any game.

The documentary is set to release later this year, and the trailer is goose-bump inducing.

There’s the goalkeeper who can’t remember how many goals he conceded to Australia. There’s the incredible story of the first-ever transgender international soccer player. The assistant coach who is pumped up that they “only gave up eight” this time. And then there’s the energetic Rongen, who might have the coolest, least-appreciated managerial job of all time.

We can’t wait until this comes out, if only because we might feel better about our own game after watching it.

Image courtesy of Getty

H/T MLS.com