A group of agitated United fans has raised enough funds to fly a plane over Old Trafford towing an anti-David Moyes banner. It’s the latest attempt by supporters to voice frustration over the first-year manager, who has led United to their worst season in the Premier League era.
According to The Guardian, the banner will likely read: “Wrong One - Moyes Out,” a cheeky response to the “Chosen One” banner that has hung at the Stretford End since the start of the season. The banner has increasingly drawn the ire of fans, for obvious reasons. In fact, after Tuesday’s derby loss to Man City, a whole ring of stewards had to guard it from potentially hostile fans:
— Manchester United (@MUFC_today)March 25, 2014
In a related story, the Manchester Evening News came up with a brilliant idea that might come in handy for us all: the “David Moyes Random Excuse Generator!”
Just like the Moyes, we all need a good excuse once in a while, and sadly, “the dog ate my homework” just doesn’t cut it anymore these days. Luckily, “Digital David” is now here to help us. You can test out the Excuse Generator here!
Manchester United disappointment Bebe has been anything but on his loan to Portuguese side Paços de Ferreira. He scored a breathtaking goal — one of several this season — that may give David Moyes something to think about as he tinkers with his roster for next season.
The talented 23-year-old Portuguese back-heel flicked the ball over his head and volleyed home against FC Arouca for a golazo that will surely be added to Bebe’s highlight reel.
Photo: Getty Images
The eagle has landed!
Juan Mata arrived at Manchester United’s training complex via chartered helicopter Saturday morning for his medical, which will finalize the club’s most expensive transfer ever at $61 million.
And obviously, everyone is really happy about it:
— Man Utd Vines (@ManUtdVines)January 25, 2014
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5)January 25, 2014
— David De Gea (@D_DeGea)January 25, 2014
David de Gea didn’t waste any time getting a swipe in. He was a bit nicer when he actually greeted his new teammate for the first time.
Gif via @BeautifullyRed
According to Manchester Police, an audibly upset and intoxicated Manchester United fan called up the Greater Manchester Police’s 999 line shortly after the Red Devils crashed out of the League Cup to Sunderland, asking to talk to none other than former manager Sir Alex Ferguson because “the result is all wrong.”
When told by the operator that this was, in fact, the emergency police line he dialed, the fan insisted he had a crime to report:
"Yeah I’ll report a crime. The crime… is that… Manchester United… Manchester United… were absolutely knackered!"
The GMP later went to Facebook to clarify the purpose of the 999 line and to direct other disillusioned United fans to try reaching the club directly:
Interestingly, the “emergency” phone call comes just a couple days after some pranksters over at Paddy Power put up an “emergency” Sir Alex wax figure outside of Old Trafford:
Photo: Neil Lloyd/Paddy Power
You have to forgive United fans for insisting that Sir Alex has all the solutions to the club’s sudden downfall since retiring. Still, maybe the calls for him to return have gone a bit too far.
It was a wild one at Old Trafford, to say the least.
With the Capital One Cup semifinal knotted at 2-2 on aggregate, Phil Bardsley scored in the final minute of extra time — thanks to a David De Gea howler — only for Javier Chicharito Hernandez to save United into the penalty shootout just a minute later.
That’s when all hell broke loose. Sunderland’s Craig Gardner stepped up first, and missed. And then Danny Welbeck missed. And then another. Really, all that was missing was the Benny Hill music in the background. (Come on, Internet, do your thing!)
It may have been the worst penalty shootout of all time, as seven of the ten PKs taken were either saved or woefully off target. In the end, Sunderland eked out a 2-1 shootout win, sending Man United out of the competition and into further despair.
Here are David Moyes’ thoughts on the game — or is his whole season thus far? — summed up in one Vine:
You kind of have to feel a bit for Moyes at this point, no? Even when some air of optimism finally returned to Old Trafford on Wednesday, thanks to the impending transfer of Juan Mata, it got immediately blown away by yet another gut-wrenching “defeat” at home.
Which makes you wonder how it can possibly get worse for United…
Mata on his way to Old Trafford. https://t.co/awOg8jthxT— Football Vines (@FootbalIVines)January 22, 2014
For much of the season, Manchester United fans have been yearning for Shinji Kagawa to get more playing time. In Saturday’s loss to Newcastle, Kagawa again found himself on the sidelines, but this time it was all his own doing.
Kagawa apparently indulged himself in such an epic food binge that he soon fell ill and needed to get his stomach pumped!
What, did Shinji think he was countrymate Takeru Kobayashi all of a sudden?
Image: Getty/Jonas Nakas (FOXSports.com)
Here’s what manager David Moyes told the club’s official website:
"Shinji was very sick after the [Everton] game and he did a bit of training on Friday but he was low. All of the stats that we look at were low so we felt we had better not take a risk in case we got an injury by playing him."
"It was a bad sickness. He thinks he ate too much, and he had to get his stomach pumped, but I think he is okay."
Yikes! As if Man United didn’t have enough problems at the moment, now players are eating their way out of the matchday roster and into the hospital.
Could it be that Kagawa’s food frenzy was just a “heavy” consequence of United’s struggles? After all, pyschologists say some people overeat mainly out of depression!
Before gaining fame for his free kicks, “Bend it like Beckham” held a different meaning in the United locker room. (Image: Getty)
"The Class of ‘92," an upcoming documentary about the Manchester United youth academy’s most famous graduates, always promised to offer an inside look into the rise of David Beckham, Ryan Giggs and Co. But is this simply too much information?
In the run-up to Sunday’s premiere in London, Beckham was forced to delve into his memory bank and recount a quite uncomfortable tale of his initiation into the senior side. While every new member was hazed in some way, Beckham said he got the worst of it; he was required to perform a sex act on himself whilst staring at a picture of eighties Reds legend Clayton Blackmore.
The picture probably looked something like this:
Clayton Blackmore, circa 1989.
In an interview with Metro.com, Beckham said:
“Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones, I got the short straw!
“The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things…while looking at Clayton Blackmore.”
"I was embarrassed when I was saying it on camera let alone talking about it more. But it’s something that we all had to go through. It was definitely something I wouldn’t like to go through again!"
Again, no further comment from us. Let’s just check out the film’s official trailer instead: