10
Oct

Young Man United fan sobs because her school uniform is blue

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Looks like someone doesn’t like their onesie … (Image: FOXSports.com illustration)

Anyone who says that you can’t be born with a passion for football clearly hasn’t heard of young Lilly Rae Doyle.

Lilly Rae, a 3-year-old Manchester United fan diehard, is blowing up after video of her bawling her little eyes out hit the Internet:

You see, Lilly was distraught at having to wear a blue uniform for school, the color of United’s bitter arch-rivals Manchester City. She’s simply beside herself, tearing at the uniform and crying “I don’t want it on!”

Remember: She’s just 3 years old, so this probably is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to her. Despite her mom, Faye’s, efforts to calm her down, young Lilly just can’t handle the thought of donning blue.

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8
Oct

Radamel Falcao has a parrot who cheers him on for every goal

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Parrots are fun. Or annoying. It all depends how talkative — or not — your parrot is.

For instance, I grew up with a parrot. In over 12 years of training, our green little family monster managed to learn all of one word: “Hello.” Fascinating. Needless to say, we’ve given up on good old, ‘Freddy.’

Radamel Falcao has a parrot, too, and he’s way more of a chatter-box. In fact, ‘Coco’ cheers after every goal his owner scores, squawking “gol de Falca” and “golazo” over and over again.

Thanks to Colombian television, here is some footage to go with this important news story:

H/T WAATP

5
Oct

Premier League Super Sunday Social Recap

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It was a busy Sunday in the Premier League, as Manchester United hosted Everton and Chelsea welcomed London rivals Arsenal to Stamford Bridge in back-to-back showdowns.

If you missed any of the action, we’ve put together a Super Sunday social recap on these two great contests.

First, United got things going as Angel Di Maria was once again the driving force behind the new-look Red Devils. He opened the scoring with his third goal in five matches:

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Later, Radamel Falcao also contributed his first Premier League goal, and it proved to be the difference in the end.

But it was really David De Gea’s day to shine as he made a few outstanding saves and earned MOTM honors.

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24
Sep

Man United fans to fly “Come home Ronaldo” banner during next Real match

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Coming off two games in which Cristiano Ronaldo scored a combined seven goals, a group of Manchester United fans have come up with a brilliant ploy to convince the reigning FIFA Ballon d’Or winner to come back to Old Trafford.

According to the Independent, a fan group spent $4,900 to hire a plane and fly a banner over Real’s next home match with the message “Come home Ronaldo.”

It’s totally going to work, too. After all, that’s definitely how they got the United bosses to finally can David Moyes last season, right?

In all seriousness, we’ve all heard about the rumors that Ronaldo is unhappy in Madrid and will one day seek a return to United. But the key words here are: one day.

He’s not going to just pack his bags and leave the reigning European champions to join a team that, gulp, doesn’t even play in the Champions League (and might not for some time.) Plus, CR7 literally just said his future still lies at the Bernabeu.

So, hate to be a buzz kill, but … nice try, though.

21
Sep

Mario Balotelli trolls Manchester United after latest loss

imageOne way to immediately win over the hearts of Liverpool fans far and wide is to make fun of bitter rivals Manchester United at every opportunity.

New Reds striker Mario Balotelli is off to a strong start, tweeting this after United’s shocking 5-3 loss at Leicester City on Sunday:

Good one, Mario.

Of course, the dig at the Red Devils would’ve had a little more sting had Liverpool not lost this weekend as well!

Image provided by Reuters

20
Sep

Ashley Young still doesn’t know if it was indeed a bird that pooped in his mouth

It’s been more than a month since the infamous moment in Manchester United’s loss at Old Trafford to Swansea. No, it wasn’t the loss itself.

It was what appeared to be bird poop flying into Ashley Young’s mouth.

There was much speculation at the time about whether it was actually bird poop, or perhaps a loogie, or something else disgusting that no one would want flying into their mouth.

It turns out, Ashley Young still doesn’t know what hit him, either. 

Bless whoever put the pigeon above his locker.

(H/T Who Ate All The Pies)

9
Sep

Manchester United’s newest signing is not named ‘Flacao’

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Sometimes spelling is hard.

Manchester United was having issues with their latest signing and the fan merchandise to go with it.

Meet Radamel Falcao … or should we say Flacao.

The ESPN editor, Alex Shaw, who posted it happily provided some other examples of Manchester United’s typographical errors.

Maybe those typos will turn into collector’s editions. There’s a market in there somewhere.

(h/t 101 Great Goals)

27
Aug

Lady luck! Soccer fan mistakenly bets MK Dons 4-0 win vs. United at staggering odds

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How would you like to win £1,250 ($2,071) totally on accident? That sounds about as awesome as it does unlikely … unless you’re one lucky woman in England:

Holly Griffiths, a reported Manchester United fan, redeemed a free bet of £2.50 ($4.14) on Tuesday’s Capital One League Cup tilt between MK Dons and United. Most sane folks expected United, an English juggernaut, to roll past lowly third-tier MK Dons.

That, of course, wasn’t the case. MK Dons went on to win in a stunner, but we assume Griffiths was even more surprised when she went to check her betting account.

She’d accidentally tossed her freebie bet on the massive underdogs to win 4-0 at a whopping 500/1 odds. To put it in perspective, it would be like gambling that Eeyore would win the Kentucky Derby, and hitting.

OK, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but this isn’t: Holly Griffiths is the luckiest person in the world.

(h/t Metro)

20
Aug

Man gets Man U tattoo because his name is already “Mr. Manchester United”

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Quite possibly the nuttiest football fan in the world, “Mr. Manchester United” — yes, that is his actual, legal name — now has United’s club badge tattooed on his forehead.

Our sources say that Mr. Manchester United got the tattoo out of fear nobody knew exactly just how big his love for Manchester United really was….

In all seriousness, the fan did offer an explanation for this to The Sun, and it is hilarious:

'The tattoo's my ID card,' he said. 'People don't look at me in a funny way, they look in admiration.' 'Now, whenever someone asks my name, I point to my forehead and smile. It makes me stand out and proves my loyalty to United,' he added.

Earlier this year, Zdravkov Levidzhov won a 15-year legal battle to change his name to Mr. Manchester United.

Mr. United drew inspiration for his name - and life - change after watching the Red Devils’ victory over Bayern Munich in the 1999 UEFA Champions League Final… on TV. (He wasn’t even there? Some fan!)

Oh, and his cat’s name is “David Beckham.” Of course it is.

(H/T and Image: The Sun)

16
Aug

Louis van Gaal gets David Moyes treatment following failed Premier League debut

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Manchester United’s loss to Swansea on Louis van Gaal’s Premier League debut sparked the predictable wave of completely original David Moyes jokes on Twitter, such as these:

Alright, this one was pretty good, though:

Of course, the defeat also led to the Dutch manager’s Wikipedia page being doctored within moments of the final whistle:

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Have we not had enough of these silly Wikipedia edits? No? Okay then.