24
Sep

Man United fans to fly “Come home Ronaldo” banner during next Real match

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Coming off two games in which Cristiano Ronaldo scored a combined seven goals, a group of Manchester United fans have come up with a brilliant ploy to convince the reigning FIFA Ballon d’Or winner to come back to Old Trafford.

According to the Independent, a fan group spent $4,900 to hire a plane and fly a banner over Real’s next home match with the message “Come home Ronaldo.”

It’s totally going to work, too. After all, that’s definitely how they got the United bosses to finally can David Moyes last season, right?

In all seriousness, we’ve all heard about the rumors that Ronaldo is unhappy in Madrid and will one day seek a return to United. But the key words here are: one day.

He’s not going to just pack his bags and leave the reigning European champions to join a team that, gulp, doesn’t even play in the Champions League (and might not for some time.) Plus, CR7 literally just said his future still lies at the Bernabeu.

So, hate to be a buzz kill, but … nice try, though.

21
Sep

Mario Balotelli trolls Manchester United after latest loss

imageOne way to immediately win over the hearts of Liverpool fans far and wide is to make fun of bitter rivals Manchester United at every opportunity.

New Reds striker Mario Balotelli is off to a strong start, tweeting this after United’s shocking 5-3 loss at Leicester City on Sunday:

Good one, Mario.

Of course, the dig at the Red Devils would’ve had a little more sting had Liverpool not lost this weekend as well!

Image provided by Reuters

20
Sep

Ashley Young still doesn’t know if it was indeed a bird that pooped in his mouth

It’s been more than a month since the infamous moment in Manchester United’s loss at Old Trafford to Swansea. No, it wasn’t the loss itself.

It was what appeared to be bird poop flying into Ashley Young’s mouth.

There was much speculation at the time about whether it was actually bird poop, or perhaps a loogie, or something else disgusting that no one would want flying into their mouth.

It turns out, Ashley Young still doesn’t know what hit him, either. 

Bless whoever put the pigeon above his locker.

(H/T Who Ate All The Pies)

9
Sep

Manchester United’s newest signing is not named ‘Flacao’

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Sometimes spelling is hard.

Manchester United was having issues with their latest signing and the fan merchandise to go with it.

Meet Radamel Falcao … or should we say Flacao.

The ESPN editor, Alex Shaw, who posted it happily provided some other examples of Manchester United’s typographical errors.

Maybe those typos will turn into collector’s editions. There’s a market in there somewhere.

(h/t 101 Great Goals)

27
Aug

Lady luck! Soccer fan mistakenly bets MK Dons 4-0 win vs. United at staggering odds

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How would you like to win £1,250 ($2,071) totally on accident? That sounds about as awesome as it does unlikely … unless you’re one lucky woman in England:

Holly Griffiths, a reported Manchester United fan, redeemed a free bet of £2.50 ($4.14) on Tuesday’s Capital One League Cup tilt between MK Dons and United. Most sane folks expected United, an English juggernaut, to roll past lowly third-tier MK Dons.

That, of course, wasn’t the case. MK Dons went on to win in a stunner, but we assume Griffiths was even more surprised when she went to check her betting account.

She’d accidentally tossed her freebie bet on the massive underdogs to win 4-0 at a whopping 500/1 odds. To put it in perspective, it would be like gambling that Eeyore would win the Kentucky Derby, and hitting.

OK, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but this isn’t: Holly Griffiths is the luckiest person in the world.

(h/t Metro)

20
Aug

Man gets Man U tattoo because his name is already “Mr. Manchester United”

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Quite possibly the nuttiest football fan in the world, “Mr. Manchester United” — yes, that is his actual, legal name — now has United’s club badge tattooed on his forehead.

Our sources say that Mr. Manchester United got the tattoo out of fear nobody knew exactly just how big his love for Manchester United really was….

In all seriousness, the fan did offer an explanation for this to The Sun, and it is hilarious:

'The tattoo's my ID card,' he said. 'People don't look at me in a funny way, they look in admiration.' 'Now, whenever someone asks my name, I point to my forehead and smile. It makes me stand out and proves my loyalty to United,' he added.

Earlier this year, Zdravkov Levidzhov won a 15-year legal battle to change his name to Mr. Manchester United.

Mr. United drew inspiration for his name - and life - change after watching the Red Devils’ victory over Bayern Munich in the 1999 UEFA Champions League Final… on TV. (He wasn’t even there? Some fan!)

Oh, and his cat’s name is “David Beckham.” Of course it is.

(H/T and Image: The Sun)

16
Aug

Louis van Gaal gets David Moyes treatment following failed Premier League debut

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Manchester United’s loss to Swansea on Louis van Gaal’s Premier League debut sparked the predictable wave of completely original David Moyes jokes on Twitter, such as these:

Alright, this one was pretty good, though:

Of course, the defeat also led to the Dutch manager’s Wikipedia page being doctored within moments of the final whistle:

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Have we not had enough of these silly Wikipedia edits? No? Okay then.

15
Aug

Darren Fletcher does Ice Bucket Challenge, as awareness goes global

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We’ve already introduced you to the Ice Bucket Challenge, (which you’re probably aware has been making the rounds on the Internet), but in case you’ve forgotten, here’s a quick refresher:

The movement to combat the rare neurodegenerative disease ALS (or Lou Gehrig’s Disease) has gone viral since originating in Boston last month. Athletes and celebrities have joined the general public in pouring buckets of ice water over their heads and then “daring” more people to do the same.

The challenge has made its way over to Europe now, too, as a trio of AS Roma players took the plunge.

Additionally, Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher was recently tapped to do it. In turn, and to the delight of everyone here at FOX Soccer, he nominated none other than Cristiano Ronaldo.

Don’t let all the ladies down, CR7. We know you don’t need an excuse to remove your shirt anyway, so just do it.

H/T Daily Mail

8
Aug

Giggs saves Man United Class of 1992’s dignity in friendly vs non-league Salford City

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Manchester United’s Class of 1992 - featuring Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, the Neville brothers and Nicky Butt (David Beckham was busy doing David Beckham things) - were thrashed 5-1 in a friendly against Salford City, the semi-pro club that the players listed above are part owners of.

Despite the heavy defeat, there was one moment that did invoke memories of the United legends’ glory days. Having only retired last season, Giggs showed he’s still got that touch of genius in him, scoring a lovely Panenka penalty for his side’s only goal:

6
Aug

Howard Webb’s retirement ignites flurry of Manchester United jokes

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After being in charge of over 500 Premier League and Football League matches and having officiated every final from the World Cup to the Champions League, Howard Webb has put away his whistle for good after taking on a new role as technical director of the Professional Game Match Officials Limited:

It didn’t take long for the inevitable avalanche of Manchester United jokes to roll in. If you’re new to soccer, Webb has long been accused of favoring the Red Devils in games he officiated:

Photo provided by Getty Images.