29
Sep

FC Santa Claus promoted to Finnish third division

As the debate over the existence of Santa Claus rages on in kindergartens around the world, one thing we do know for certain: FC Santa Claus is an actual, real football club in Finland. With a very awesome logo, too:

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And wouldn’t you know, Santa just got promoted!

Yes, Christmas has indeed come early for the supporters of this small club inside the Arctic Circle (Lapland, more specifically) after clinching promotion to the Kakkonen division of Finnish football. The decisive goal was scored by Kris Kring… — nah, just kidding — Jaakko Paavilainen in the 94th minute of their match vs ORPa, sending the team’s commentators into a frenzy:

Watch out, Kakkonen squads. Santa Claus really is coming to town!

(H/T Metro)

29
Sep

Brazilian goalkeeper scores own goal via diving header

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Meet Joao Carlos.

Joao is a Brazilian goalkeeper for Serie B side Boa EC. By all accounts, he’s a rather decent one, too. In his last seven starts (before Saturday’s 2-0 loss to Avai), the 26-year-old gave up just two goals as Boa won all but one of their games.

Alas, even the best know that sometimes, crazy things just happen on the pitch. We’re talking really strange. Things you can’t do anything about, but will bury you with shame regardless.

Things like this: H/T Dirty Tackle

27
Sep

The best glitches in FIFA 15

By now, most of you have heard of the FIFA 15 glitch that sees the goalkeepers run out to midfield as part of the most extreme offside trap in history…

…but here are some other, much funnier ones that have come up in the first few weeks of the game’s release:

Ter Stegen should win the goalkeeping battle at Barcelona. After all, he can apparently even fly:

Steven Gerrard’s form has hit a bit of a snag, but as he proved on Saturday, it can’t be possibly this bad!

One underrated feature of FIFA 15: more camera angles

Still the undisputed heavyweight glitch champ of the world, though:

H/T Pies

24
Sep

Man United fans to fly “Come home Ronaldo” banner during next Real match

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Coming off two games in which Cristiano Ronaldo scored a combined seven goals, a group of Manchester United fans have come up with a brilliant ploy to convince the reigning FIFA Ballon d’Or winner to come back to Old Trafford.

According to the Independent, a fan group spent $4,900 to hire a plane and fly a banner over Real’s next home match with the message “Come home Ronaldo.”

It’s totally going to work, too. After all, that’s definitely how they got the United bosses to finally can David Moyes last season, right?

In all seriousness, we’ve all heard about the rumors that Ronaldo is unhappy in Madrid and will one day seek a return to United. But the key words here are: one day.

He’s not going to just pack his bags and leave the reigning European champions to join a team that, gulp, doesn’t even play in the Champions League (and might not for some time.) Plus, CR7 literally just said his future still lies at the Bernabeu.

So, hate to be a buzz kill, but … nice try, though.

24
Sep

Kaiserslautern striker joins shortlist for “Worst Miss Ever” award

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It’s really been a banner season for our never-ending “worst miss ever” contest, and it’s still only September! Most of our top submissions so far have come out of Germany, where Wolfsburg’s Junior Malanda has tried his best to make it a one-man show.

But now a new player from the German leagues has thrown his hat in the ring: Kaiserslautern striker Philipp Hofmann.

Just look at all of the bad:

Kaiserslautern still won their match vs Union Berlin 1-0, but they probably should’ve been docked a goal for Hofmann’s inexcusable miss.

So, did that take the cake (so far) for our “Worst Miss Ever?”

Not in our book. That honor still belongs to this man:

HOW!?!?

Vine via Alex Chaffer

24
Sep

Who hit the worse free kick: Julio Dos Santos or Johannes Geis?

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Over the past month or so, we saw so many horrible corner kicks that we were almost concerned over the general well-being of the sport. It truly was an epidemic.

Now it appears we have a new, fast-spreading virus to deal with: free-kick-itis.

Freekickitis is nothing to joke about, people. Just look at the awful effects it can have on an otherwise solid Bundesliga player like Mainz’s Johannes Geis last weekend:

Terrible, right? It’s like the Space Jam aliens stole his talent!

And here’s Julio Dos Santos of Paraguyan club Cerro Poteno falling victim to this gruesome illness:

Let’s put a stop to this now. Spread awareness on freekickitis to your football clubs all around the world, before it is too late.

Image provided by Getty

H/T SBNation

24
Sep

Are Queens Park Rangers a real football team?

Queens Park Rangers are in the bottom three of the Premier League table and strongly considered relegation candidates No. 1.

For good reason, too. It seems the players are doing everything in their power to become a running punchline rather than a legitimate football team.

Consider that in the span of one week, defensive midfielder Sandro injured himself in training practicing his knee-slide goal celebration (which he, with his 3 goals in 81 Premier League games, clearly needs to brush up on) and defender Steven Caulker was briefly handcuffed by police after walking out of a store munching on a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese he forgot to pay for. What, was Caulker just trying to nurse a leg injury

And to think, manager Harry Redknapp drives two hours each way to and from his house just to have to train baby-sit these guys each day. What a mess!

23
Sep

Some Americans still can’t recognize USA captain Clint Dempsey

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Every four years, the interest in the Beautiful Game grows exponentially across our great country for the World Cup. This summer, more Americans than ever before gathered at public viewing parties or skipped work to cheer on the red, white and blue in Brazil.

So you would think that our national team’s key stars would have gained a bit more celebrity status in the process.

Wrong.

Clint Dempsey - only our national team captain who sent the entire country in a frenzy after scoring on the USA’s VERY FIRST PLAY of the World Cup - walked about New York City the other day for ESPN and asked passers-by what they thought of the national team, and, more specifically, about captain Clint Dempsey. The results will make you want to cry:

Really, guy #2?! You felt like the captain of the team should’ve been on the team? That doesn’t even make sense!

Best Saddest part of the video: Clint telling him his name at the end and he still can’t put two and two together.

H/T MLS

Image provided by Getty.

22
Sep

Fail! Chicago Fire honor “DeMarcus” Beasley

imageDaMarcus Beasley spent four and a half seaons with the Chicago Fire in the early 2000s, and after a ten-year absence from MLS was acquired by the Houston Dynamo this season.

Next Sunday will mark the first time Beasley faces his former team, and though the match is in Houston, the Fire wanted to show their appreciation for the U.S. national team veteran by flying some banners outside Toyota Park.

Unfortunately, it seems they forgot to double check their work:

Whoops!