24
Aug

LA Galaxy’s Robbie Keane provides ugliest assist of all time

Robbie Keane tallied the perhaps worst assist you’ll ever see Saturday night vs the Vancouver Whitecaps.

The LA Galaxy forward completely fluffed a shot in the penalty area, but the ball somehow trickled over to Marcelo Sarvas, who slotted it home. Keane even turned away in disgust after his whiff, but now he’s got another assist on his stat sheet:

Just how he drew it up!

GIF via Reddit

18
Aug

Keisuke Honda throws name in the ring for worst corner kick ever

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Earlier today, we showed you a pathetic attempt at a corner kick from Nantes midfielder Serge Gakpé.

Not to be outdone, Keisuke Honda of AC Milan did all in his power to upstage Mr. Gakpé. In a preseason match vs Valencia, Honda somehow, incredibly, blasted the set piece all the way into the furthest reaches of the upper deck. In fact, the ball probably still hasn’t landed.

Watch:

The worst best part? For some reason Honda was allowed to take another corner in the second half. And wouldn’t you know it, the Japenese winger almost produced an exact copy of that horrendous effort:

Hey, at least he hit the ball!

Could we somehow fuse the attempts from Honda and Gakpé together into one, it would surely be a textbook corner kick.

H/T Pies

18
Aug

Lincoln City manager beats Barnet with use of jelly candies

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When Lincoln City’s team bus failed to turn up for Saturday’s away fixture in Barnet, the team was left with no way to transport  vital match-day equipment such as the tactics board. So manager Gary Simpson got creative.

Simpson used the lid of a kit bin for a makeshift board and a packet of Jelly Babies as the counters. Striker Ben Tomlinson wasn’t the only one amused:

Considering Lincoln City beat the Conference Premier (fifth division) leaders 2-1, maybe Simpson is on to something. The coach quipped to BBC Radio Lincolnshire that he might have to use Jelly Babies for the rest of the season.

"If we can keep winning I will do whatever is necessary," he said.

It didn’t take long for Simpson’s success with his new secret weapon to make the rounds.

Before you knew it, the club’s Under-10 side employed the same strategy, though our sources understand several of the jelly babies mysteriously disappeared by the halftime talk.

H/T BBC

Image via The Guardian

18
Aug

Andre Ayew forced out of match after bleeding through two kits

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Olympique Marseille lost 2-0 to Montpellier in their season home opener at the beautifully renovated Stade Velodrome. To add insult to injury, striker Andre Ayew was forced off in the strangest of circumstances early in the second half.

The Ghana star had suffered a head wound during the first half that caused him to bleed all over his crisp, white jersey - a big no-no in all of professional sports. Luckily, kit managers always plan for unforeseen events such as this, and Ayew promptly received a spare shirt to finish out the half.

Alas, the wound reopened in the second half, and once again the referee required Ayew to change his kit. However, with no third No. 10 shirt available (you have to finish the match with the same number as you started), Ayew found himself in an unsolvable quandary. The kitman hopelessly tried to turn a No.33 kit into a No.10, but the referee was not impressed, and so new Marseille manager Marcelo Bielsa angrily had to take off one of his key attacking players for the final 38+ minutes with his side chasing a deficit. Bloody hell!

H/T Yahoo!Sports

Photo: Getty

18
Aug

The worst corner kick of all time?

Quickly-taken short corners are a nice change-up to the usual set-piece routine, but it helps when you actually strike the ball.

Nantes midfielder Serge Gakpé failed to do just that this weekend, instead taking out the corner flag and drawing raucous laughter from the crowd. Surely this must be one of the worst corners you’re ever likely to see:

To be fair, that darn corner flag really does get in the way sometimes. Anyone remember this gem from Armenia’s Aras Ozbiliz last year?

Vine: @necroute

14
Aug

Holy cow: Herd of cows invades pitch during Copa Peru match

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Pitch invaders are nothing new in soccer, but these latest scenes out of Peru could take the cake.

A Copa Peru match between Minsa FBC and Expreso Inambari was disrupted when a herd of cows decided to make its way through the pitch.

Fortunately for us, a reporter was on hand to catch video of the invasion:

Look at them go! It appears they were on a cattle drive and just happened to wander through the game, but can you blame them? The pitch looks like it’s in dire need of some trimming anyway, so why not let them graze for a bit?

After the roughly two-minute interruption, play resumed down in Peru, with Minsa squeaking out a 1-0 win. We’re hoping they didn’t go out for burgers to celebrate.

(h/t Cancellena.com, Image: Getty)

10
Aug

Maradona slaps journalist for allegedly winking at his baby’s mother

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It’s been a while since we’ve peeked under the tent of the circus that is Diego Maradona’s life. This latest video of the Argentinian legend is a nice reminder: Don’t mess with Maradona.

The video begins with Maradona (with his son, Diego Fernando, in his arms and Diego Fernando’s mother, Veronica Ojeda in the passenger seat) already fired up.

A throng of reporters stopped the Maradona clan as they reportedly left a theater, and the elder Diego was none too pleased. Clearly upset with the media, a defiant Maradona claims, “I am 53 years old and I’m not the “Dieguito,” I’m 53 years old and my name is Diego Armando Maradona!" before rolling up his window.

The video then cuts to a wider shot, showing Maradona exit the car, confront a reporter and slap the man, allegedly for winking at Ojeda.

Maradona asks the man, “Why mess with my wife if I do not mess with you?” before slapping him across the face.

No doubt, a mature reaction for the impressionable Diego Fernando to witness. We’re not saying the reporter didn’t need to be straightened out — if what’s alleged is true — but no matter what the real story, it looks like some growing up needs to happen.

(h/t Metro, Image: Getty)

8
Aug

Jason Sudeikis returns as brilliant Coach Ted Lasso for NBC Sports

Jason Sudeikis is back as American football turned futbol coach Ted Lasso, and the new NBC Sports promo is just as hilarious as last year’s skit.

Since the last time we heard from him, Lasso left his post as Spurs manager for a brief stint as a pundit on NBC’s Premier League broadcast team, during which he routinely pisses off Rebecca Lowe and frustrates Arlo White with his utter lack of common soccer knowledge. Highlights include Lasso still not understanding the rules of relegation and encouraging Fulham fans to “take matters into their own hands” against match referees.

After his failed stint as an analyst, Lasso struggles to assimilate back into American life, missing much of what England has to offer, and mistakes Tim Howard for “the goalkeeper for Everton” at a bar. Ultimately he returns to what he knows best: coaching.

This time around, Lasso takes charge over a catholic school girl’s team - the St. Catherine’s Fighting Owls - whom he teaches exuberant celebrations, how to flop like a pro, and even gets them sponsored by a Middle Eastern airline. Just like a real Premier League team.

Never change, Coach Lasso, never change.

H/T: NBC Sports

5
Aug

Lionel Messi’s haircut is … subpar

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What’s going on here? Does Messi still get $10 haircuts?

That fade is just horrendous!

Fine, not every footballer needs to take his follicles as seriously as Cristiano Ronaldo, but surely he can do better than this!

We bet Antonella would appreciate it as well …

imageImages via Getty

2
Aug

Francesco Totti trolls new teammate Ashley Cole

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Remember the Roma team picture from last week featuring an isolated Ashley Cole looking like an outcast?

The picture made the rounds last week on social media, inspiring a meme and even its own Twitter handle, @LurkingAshley.

Cole himself couldn’t help but laugh at himself:

Now, Roma captain Francesco Totti has provided the icing on the cake.

For the squad’s latest team photo (on the Rocky Steps, no less), Totti deliberately “pulled an Ashley” and stood off to the side. Check it out:
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Totti. What a legend!

Image via @TEAMtalk