18
Sep

Brazilian team’s player disappears into a hole in the ground after scoring

Can’t say we’ve seen this happen before: In a move that would make Lance Burton proud, Coritiba striker Joel literally vanished during a match against Sao Paulo. And it wasn’t in the sense that strikers often disappear against opposition.

No, Joel launched over advertising hoardings after scoring a delightful little goal, but didn’t find solid ground on the other end. Instead, Joel fell into a hole that was inauspiciously hidden behind the hoardings.

A steward even tried to stop Joel from making his ill-fated leap, but to no avail. The steward and a few teammates managed to get Joel out, and despite looking understandably shaken up by the ordeal, the player finished out the game.

And on the bright side, he ended his evening with two goals in Coritiba’s 3-1 win against Sao Paulo.

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Just remember to look before you leap, Joel!

(h/t Guardian, Image: Getty)

17
Sep

Arsenal’s Lukas Podolski can’t find his shinguards

This about sums up Arsenal’s performance in Dortmund on Tuesday: Lukas Podolski couldn’t find his shinguards after being told to come on as a second-half substitute:

Luckily, Mesut Ozil eventually loaned Podolski his.

It was Ozil’s best assist of the evening.

H/T OffThePost

16
Sep

Thailand’s women’s national team gets cash bonus for losing ‘only’ 5-0

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Thailand’s women’s national team lost 5-0 to South Korea in their Asia Games opener this weekend, a pretty discouraging way to open the tournament. Unless, of course, if you’re on the team.

Believe it or not, the Thailand FA awarded each player a bonus of 100,000 Thai baht ($6,200) for only losing 5-0. We kid you not.

"We fared better in the second half," the FA president told the Nation newspaper. “The association had planned to give the team 200,000 baht ($6,200) if they won the match, but, for the players’ efforts, we decided to hand them 100,000 as consolation.”

Um, where can we sign up for a roster spot?

In America, we often hear complaints over giving out participation trophies at youth tournaments. This is a little worse, don’t you think?

H/T SBNation (Pic: Stanley Chou)

15
Sep

Thomas Vermaelen has difficulty getting into Barcelona car park

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Amused by famous people suffering through real-world problems?

Then you’ll love new Barcelona defender Thomas Vermaelen having some serious issues getting his Audi into the club’s car park:

Good thing Vermalen had about five different guys instructing him with violent hand gestures and dozens of fans egging him on. I’m sure that calmed his nerves.

The whole ordeal took about two minutes, but the former Arsenal man finally did get his Audi into the park without a scratch. 

Now you only have to do that, what, 200 more times this season? Good luck, bud!

Image provided by Reuters

(H/T Who Ate All The Pies)

13
Sep

Birmingham’s Wes Thomas scores net-breaking goal

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Birmingham City’s Championship game against Leeds United on Saturday was delayed for nine minutes after Wes Thomas’s 38th-minute goal literally broke the net.

Thomas dislodged the back left stanchion of the net with the game’s opening goal, and it took the ground staff a considerable amount of time to replace the broken support beam.

The crazy thing about it: Thomas even went with a finesse shot instead of power, yet still managed to break it! Birmingham, we have to talk about your net quality…

Watch (1:00 min mark):

13
Sep

Ronaldinho chose Queretaro to “continue winning titles… and girls”

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Oh, Ronnie…

Brazil legend Ronaldinho Gaucho raised plenty of eyebrows by choosing to play for Liga MX club Queretaro, but he may have shed some light on his surprising decision at his official unveiling on Friday.

Per Mundo Deportivo), Ronaldinho told reporters:

"I’ve always lived in the same way and with every team I’ve been a champion. I hope to keep doing the same and continue winning titles and girls."

It’s no secret Ronaldinho loves the female attention that’s accompanied him his entire career (remember this NSFW pic?), and after playing in France, Spain, Italy and Brazil, the two-time FIFA World Player of the Year is now looking to dip into a whole new pool of chicas. And keep winning titles. In some order.

Image provided by Getty

9
Sep

Austrian player makes grave mistake: touching Zlatan Ibrahimovic

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Here’s a good reminder that while you should always “Dare to Zlatan,” thou shalt never actually dare to touch Zlatan:

Rubin Okotie is one lucky man.

Lucky that Zlatan was in a good enough mood to let him finish the match and go home to his family with a story he can tell his grandchildren one day.  "I touched Zlatan and I lived."

Image provided by Getty

9
Sep

Germany’s Kramer, Scotland’s Morrison play rock-paper-scissors to determine possession

Ah yes! Good ol’ “rock-paper-scissors.”

Kids play it every day. And, apparently, so do professional athletes. 

In the late stages of Germany’s EURO 2016 qualifier vs Scotland, neither James Morrison nor Christoph Kramer knew who should receive the ball after the referee called for a stoppage in play to tend to the injured Marco Reus. So they did what any kid on the playground would do: determine possession through rock-paper-scissors.

Kramer picked scissors. Morrison chose rock. Ball goes to Scotland, right?

Nope! The referee later decided that a free kick should be awarded to Germany, thus overruling the ironclad law of RPS. For shame!

H/T Sport1

8
Sep

Croatian defender submits new frontrunner for ‘Worst Miss Ever’

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Wolfsburg midfielder Junior Malanda can rest a little bit easier tonight. The title for “worst miss ever” has a new owner, and his name is Ilija Sivonjić.

The Croatian defender for second-division side Hrvatski Dragovoljac somehow managed to keep the ball out of his opponent’s net from literally an inch out. Not a foot. An inch. Like, the ball was already on the line. All Sivonjić needed to do was blow it across…

Welp!

Perhaps Sivonjić was confused and thought he was in his own penalty area? It’s the only possible explanation for doing such a fine job of keeping the ball from crossing the line.

Not even Malanda could dream up a worse goal-line miss!

H/T Reddit