25
May

Erik Hurtado makes defenders look silly

imageBreaking ankles is a move generally reserved for the basketball court, but Vancouver Whitecaps forward Erik Hurtado did so on the soccer pitch Saturday night.

In a 2-2 draw with the Seattle Sounders, Hurtado briefly made it 1-1 on a superf finish from a tight angle, but not before twisting both Osvaldo Alonso and Djimi Traore into pretzels. Watch the goal below:

Ouch.

10
May

Preston’s Joe Garner scores unbelievable goal in playoff game

imageImage: Reuters

Can it still be a “goal of the season” if it’s technically scored in the postseason?

It better, because Preston North End’s Joe Garner just unleashed one in the League One promotion playoffs!

With Preston down 1-0 to Rotherham in the first leg of their playoff tie, Garner produced a series of three exquisite touches that resulted in THIS:

Wait, here’s another angle. My goodness!

H/T 101GG

27
Apr

GIF: Ronaldo’s brace against Osasuna is typical Ronaldo

Nothing this guy does surprises us anymore. Still, you HAVE to see the two goals Cristiano Ronaldo scored against Osasuna on Saturday.

Think he’s back to 100%, just in time for Bayern Munich on Tuesday?

We’ll go with our gut here and say, yes. Yes he is.

(GIFs via Pies)

28
Mar

Seydou Keita scores fastest goal in La Liga history


Other than recording a Vine video, 7.6 seconds is enough time to do… barely anything. Usain Bolt can’t sprint 100 meters in that time, nor can competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut eat even a single hot dog that fast (it takes him nine seconds).

However, that’s all the time Valencia’s Seydou Keita needed to score the fastest goal in La Liga history against Almeria.

Incredibly, Almeria was the side kicking off on Thursday night, but Keita profited from a truly terribly back-pass to the goalkeeper and pounced for the goal. With the strike, Keita beat out previous record-holder Joseba Llorente, who scored in 7.8 seconds for Valladolid in January 2008.

Not only was Keita’s goal the quickest ever in the Primera Division, it was also his first for the club. However, it wasn’t a perfect evening for the Mali international. Almeria woke up after the blitz attack and came back to earn a 2-2 draw.

26
Mar

Torino’s Ciro Immobile scores volley of the year

Who isn’t a fan of volleys?

Oh, you aren’t? Well, then this video is not for you:

Torino striker Ciro Immobile scored an improbable goal against Roma on Tuesday that will have you questioning gravity and physics and all that nonsense. It also proves not to judge a player by his last name.

Immobile one-timed a high-arching pass from midfield and smashed it perfectly past Roma goalkeeper Morgan De Sanctis for the golazo, which brought back memories Antonio Di Natale’s masterpiece a year ago:

Since that epicness, all volleys have been judged against “the Di Natale.” But after Tuesday, we may have to make “the Immobile” the new high-water mark, even if it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

16
Mar

Golazos! Jordan Pro League is bringing the heat lately

It doesn’t matter whether you’re playing Champions League or Jordan’s Pro League. If you score on an over-the-back heel flick from a good twenty yards out, you’re getting on the Blog! On Saturday, Al-Wihdat forward Motaz Salhani did just that, turning in one of the most outrageous and oddest (or is it luckiest?) goals you’ll ever see against Al-Ramtha.

But wait: there’s more from the Kingdom! That’s right, the JPL has graciously given us a two-for-one ‘Golazo Special’ over the past seven days.

Last Sunday, Al Ramtha were on the right side of a ridiculous goal when right-back Suleiman Al-Salman scored an absolute cracker from his own side of the field against Al Arabi:

Forget the Premier League! We all might need to start watching the Jordan Pro League regularly.

16
Mar

Lionel Messi becomes Barcelona’s all-time leading goalscorer

imageImage: Getty

Lionel Messi scored a hat trick at Osasuna on Sunday to become Barcelona’s all-time leading goalscorer at the tender age of 26! Twenty-six! Messi equaled and overtook Paulino Alcantara’s record with his 369th and 370th goal, the later added a third for good measure.

What. A. Legend.

Check out the hat trick below:

If you’re into math, Messi needed only 452 games to break the record, scoring an average of .82 goals per match. Simply amazing. As a reward, he gets to wear these bad boys soon:

To celebrate Messi’s club goal record, @adidasSoccer unveils limited edition #Messi370 #adizero F50. #teamadidas pic.twitter.com/hXD68JXsZw

With Messi now having run out of club records to break, he’ll set his sights on the all-time La Liga goalscoring record next. With 233 goals to his credit, he is 19 goals shy of Athletic Bilbao legend Telmo Zarra. Look for the Argentinian magician to break that sometime early next season.

12
Mar

Ecuador Under-16 international scores solo goal for the ages

Wait, it’s already time for “The Next Neymar?”

Fabian Tello, a youth international for Ecuador’s Under-16 side, has made his case to become the next dribbling sensation by taking almost the entire Paraguayan team to school en route to one of the greatest solo goals you’ll see. After getting the ball played to him on the left wing, Tello juked his way around six different defenders (beating two of them twice!) before rounding the goalkeeper as well (you know, just for good measure) and drilling home the goal. Scintillating stuff!

And again, Tello is not even 16. You may want to remember his name.

H/T SBNation

8
Mar

This week in ‘Amazing Zlatan Moments’

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been wow-ing us all season long, that’s nothing new. Seemingly every weekend he provides us with a goal worthy of the yearly highlight reel.

But did you know Ligue 1’s top scorer — 23 goals and counting — also leads the league in assists this season with 12? Yeah, he can do it all.

Proving that his brilliance knows no bounds, Zlatan showed off his other skill set with a lovely back-heel pass to Ezequiel Lavezzi during PSG’s 3-0 win over Bastia on Saturday.