28
Mar

Seydou Keita scores fastest goal in La Liga history


Other than recording a Vine video, 7.6 seconds is enough time to do… barely anything. Usain Bolt can’t sprint 100 meters in that time, nor can competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut eat even a single hot dog that fast (it takes him nine seconds).

However, that’s all the time Valencia’s Seydou Keita needed to score the fastest goal in La Liga history against Almeria.

Incredibly, Almeria was the side kicking off on Thursday night, but Keita profited from a truly terribly back-pass to the goalkeeper and pounced for the goal. With the strike, Keita beat out previous record-holder Joseba Llorente, who scored in 7.8 seconds for Valladolid in January 2008.

Not only was Keita’s goal the quickest ever in the Primera Division, it was also his first for the club. However, it wasn’t a perfect evening for the Mali international. Almeria woke up after the blitz attack and came back to earn a 2-2 draw.

26
Mar

Torino’s Ciro Immobile scores volley of the year

Who isn’t a fan of volleys?

Oh, you aren’t? Well, then this video is not for you:

Torino striker Ciro Immobile scored an improbable goal against Roma on Tuesday that will have you questioning gravity and physics and all that nonsense. It also proves not to judge a player by his last name.

Immobile one-timed a high-arching pass from midfield and smashed it perfectly past Roma goalkeeper Morgan De Sanctis for the golazo, which brought back memories Antonio Di Natale’s masterpiece a year ago:

Since that epicness, all volleys have been judged against “the Di Natale.” But after Tuesday, we may have to make “the Immobile” the new high-water mark, even if it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

16
Mar

Golazos! Jordan Pro League is bringing the heat lately

It doesn’t matter whether you’re playing Champions League or Jordan’s Pro League. If you score on an over-the-back heel flick from a good twenty yards out, you’re getting on the Blog! On Saturday, Al-Wihdat forward Motaz Salhani did just that, turning in one of the most outrageous and oddest (or is it luckiest?) goals you’ll ever see against Al-Ramtha.

But wait: there’s more from the Kingdom! That’s right, the JPL has graciously given us a two-for-one ‘Golazo Special’ over the past seven days.

Last Sunday, Al Ramtha were on the right side of a ridiculous goal when right-back Suleiman Al-Salman scored an absolute cracker from his own side of the field against Al Arabi:

Forget the Premier League! We all might need to start watching the Jordan Pro League regularly.

16
Mar

Lionel Messi becomes Barcelona’s all-time leading goalscorer

imageImage: Getty

Lionel Messi scored a hat trick at Osasuna on Sunday to become Barcelona’s all-time leading goalscorer at the tender age of 26! Twenty-six! Messi equaled and overtook Paulino Alcantara’s record with his 369th and 370th goal, the later added a third for good measure.

What. A. Legend.

Check out the hat trick below:

If you’re into math, Messi needed only 452 games to break the record, scoring an average of .82 goals per match. Simply amazing. As a reward, he gets to wear these bad boys soon:

To celebrate Messi’s club goal record, @adidasSoccer unveils limited edition #Messi370 #adizero F50. #teamadidas pic.twitter.com/hXD68JXsZw

With Messi now having run out of club records to break, he’ll set his sights on the all-time La Liga goalscoring record next. With 233 goals to his credit, he is 19 goals shy of Athletic Bilbao legend Telmo Zarra. Look for the Argentinian magician to break that sometime early next season.

12
Mar

Ecuador Under-16 international scores solo goal for the ages

Wait, it’s already time for “The Next Neymar?”

Fabian Tello, a youth international for Ecuador’s Under-16 side, has made his case to become the next dribbling sensation by taking almost the entire Paraguayan team to school en route to one of the greatest solo goals you’ll see. After getting the ball played to him on the left wing, Tello juked his way around six different defenders (beating two of them twice!) before rounding the goalkeeper as well (you know, just for good measure) and drilling home the goal. Scintillating stuff!

And again, Tello is not even 16. You may want to remember his name.

H/T SBNation

8
Mar

This week in ‘Amazing Zlatan Moments’

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been wow-ing us all season long, that’s nothing new. Seemingly every weekend he provides us with a goal worthy of the yearly highlight reel.

But did you know Ligue 1’s top scorer — 23 goals and counting — also leads the league in assists this season with 12? Yeah, he can do it all.

Proving that his brilliance knows no bounds, Zlatan showed off his other skill set with a lovely back-heel pass to Ezequiel Lavezzi during PSG’s 3-0 win over Bastia on Saturday.

24
Feb

Pair of late free-kick golazos electrify Serie A

A pair of Serie A matches ended in similar fashion Monday night, with both away sides stealing a point on late free-kick goals that will make your mouth water.
Fiorentina midfielder and Chile international Matias Fernandez scored perhaps the goal of the round in the 85th minute to salvage a 2-2 draw at Parma. The goal kept La Viola alive in the hunt for a Champions League spot, remaining six points behind third-placed Napoli, who were also affected by a late set piece golazo.

Almost exactly two hours later, Genoa’s Emanuele Calaiò scored in the 84th minute to earn a late point against the Partenopei. The kicker? Calaiò is currently on loan at Genoa from — yup, you guessed it — Napoli!

Calaiò thus actually hurt his parent club’s chances at an automatic Champions League spot for next season. With the draw, Napoli fell to six points behind Roma for second place.

Afterward, Calaiò apologized to the home fans:

"I’m sorry to have scored a goal against Napoli itself. I had important spells there,” Calaio said. ”When the manager gives me the opportunity I try to give my all for this shirt, our fans deserve it. I dedicate the goal to my family and my son.

It’s the third goal in my career I’ve scored from a free kick, I’m sorry to have scored at the San Paolo, but that’s my job and I hope to score in the next games too.”

8
Feb

Bored Zlatan practices scoring with his knee

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has scored more golazos in the past 12 months than most players — mortals — achieve in their lifetime. Or in their dreams. So when it comes to practice, you can understand if Zlatan gets bored pretty easily during shooting drills. Like, what’s the challenge? There isn’t one. Unless you dare to Zlatan, and try to score with different body parts.

Still, not even that seems to be a problem for Zlatan. Ibra is clearly just as lethal with his kneecaps as with his feet.

Man, we’re sure going to miss him in Brazil.

5
Jan

Best Goals of the FA Cup Third Round

image

Ah, the magic of the FA Cup.

The world’s oldest association football competition, traditionally rich with upsets every season, delivered the goods again this weekend. The stunner of the Third Round? Swansea knocked out Premier League champion Man United for their first-ever win at Old Trafford, thanks to Wilfried Bony’s 90th-minute goal:

There were more brilliant moments on Saturday. 

Minnows Rochdale moved into the Fourth Round of the competition for the first time in eleven years after upsetting Leeds United. The League Two minnows held a slim 1-0 lead over Leeds before Ian Henderson sealed the win with this exquisite volley:

Elsewhere, Oliver Norwood scored a perfect free kick to help Championship side Huddersfield Town to a 3-2 win, avoiding a major upset at the hands of non-league Grimsby Town:


And in the big match of the weekend, Arsenal’s Tomas Rosicky stole the ball from Spurs defender Danny Rose at the halfway line and chipped keeper Hugo Lloris masterfully on the ensuing breakaway:

11
Nov

Ranking the FIFA Puskas Award nominees

FIFA released its annual list of nominees for the best goal of 2013 on Monday, and of course we’ve already done the heavy lifting for you and identified which goal should win the award.

Still, it is up to you fans to vote for your favorite before the three finalists are announced in mid-December. Voting closes Dec. 9th. A second round of voting will then determine the winner, to be revealed at the annual Ballon d’Or presentation.

Without further ado, here’s our list, starting with number 10:

10. Juan Manuel Olivera (Nautico) vs Sport Recife

Nautico’s Uruguayan striker electrified Copa Sudamericana with this wonderful goal off a nice give-and-go at the top of the box. Unfortunately, Nautico are dead-last in Brazil’s Serie A with relegation already confirmed. But at least they have this golazo to hang their hats on!

9. Louisa Necib (Lyon) vs Saint-Etienne

The French have branded Necib as “the female Zidane” for years now, and with goals like this she does the comparison justice. One of the best playmakers in the women’s game, Necib produced her finest effort against Saint-Etienne with this unstoppable long-distance strike.

8. Daniel Luduena (Pachua) vs Tigres

Luduena scored the goal of the season in Liga MX with this outrageous attempt from 70 yards. Impressive, no doubt, but it can’t rank any higher than here because, frankly, we see goals like this scored a handful of times a year. Still, the Pachua man deserves recognition for fulfilling every child’s playground dream.

7. Neymar (Brazil) vs Japan

Neymar went into this summer’s Confed Cup with some questioning whether Barcelona’s import was really worth all the money and hype, having to that point only dazzled in the Brazilian league. He answered those critics right away on the world stage, scoring this golazo in the 3rd minute of Brazil’s first group match on his way to securing tournament MVP honors.

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