17
Apr

USA defender John Anthony Brooks benched due to giant back tattoo

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Getting tattoos is all fun and games until you can’t do your job.

According to the Berliner Morgenpost, United States men’s national team defender John Anthony Brooks was benched by Bundesliga club Hertha BSC Berlin last weekend after Brooks got himself a “large-scale” back tattoo, which hence has prevented him from being able to play comfortably.

Of course. 

As tattoo-lovers know, for several days following the procedure, one is advised to avoid intense physical activity, tight-fitting clothing, and sweaty conditions, among other things.

In hindsight, as a professional athlete Brooks should probably have known better than to get ink done in the middle of the season.

Understandably, Hertha coach Jos Luhukay was not pleased:

"I don’t have any understanding for that. The tattoo could lead to an inflammation, and, naturally, that is not good," Luhukay told the paper.

Nope, not good. Next time, wait until after the season, John.

(H/T SBNation)

Image provide by Getty.

15
Apr

Levante’s revolutionary “twin free-kick” routine fails miserably

Just like they drew it up!

Levante found themselves down 1-0 to Villareal in the final minutes of stoppage time this past Saturday when the perfect chance for a late equalizer presented itself - a free kick roughly 20 yards out from goal. But rather than attempting a straightforward, direct free kick with a point on the line, Levante’s Victor Casadesus and Ruben Garcia decided this was the perfect opportunity to try out a cunning, new playground routine.

Both players ran up to the ball simultaneously looking to deceive the wall and goalkeeper, which sounds like a good idea. But apparently they failed to tell each other who was supposed to actually kick the ball, and so they both did, resulting in this miserable fail (not to mention zero points for Levante.)

Communication is key, lads.

H/T Pies

3
Mar

Hoffenheim mascot’s head falls off during celebration

imageImage: Getty

Hoffenheim had plenty to smile about this weekend after putting six goals past Wolfsburg, but there was one giant buzz kill: Hoffi the Moose, the team’s mascot, literally lost its head while celebrating one of the goals.

After Anthony Modeste made it 4-1 Hoffenheim just before halftime, Hoffi sprinted over to celebrate with the players but clumsily tripped over the advertising board, causing his head to fall off. Every child in attendance immediately had their perception of reality crushed to a pulp.

Watch the tragic incident below:

H/T: Pies

27
Feb

Sydney Leroux attempts ‘Happy Gilmore’ golf swing, fails miserably

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Anybody who ventures out to the driving range must attempt at least one “Happy Gilmore” swing. That’s just common knowledge. But while Adam Sandler makes it look all too easy in the cult classic, some of us know the struggle is real. Take United States women’s national team star Sydney Leroux for example:

It’s a good thing Leroux is wearing Richard Sherman’s “Don’t you ever talk about me” shirt, or else we might be tempted to give her some abuse for this.

She did get the hang of it, though (on her 29th try):

(H/T Deadspin)

20
Feb

FAIL! Fabio Capello names wrong player by same name to Russia squad

image"Wait a second…that’s not the guy! Is that the guy? Hmph!"

Fabio Capello is apparently still getting used to the Russian language and nomenclature. Because according to The Mirror, the Italian manager inadvertently called up the wrong player to Russia’s national team. Seriously.

Capello named 21-year-old Andrey Semenov from Lokomotiv Moscow’s reserve team to his squad for an upcoming friendly against Armenia, when he really tried to call up the more experienced Andrey Semenov, — also a defender — from Terek Grozny. Oops!

As you could imagine, the result of this faux-pas was highly amusing.

The incorrectly selected Semenov said he “was surprised, to say the least,” while Lokomotiv even published a press release on their website declaring the good news. However, it didn’t take long for them to find out this wasn’t, in fact, so. The Russian Football Federation quickly caught the error and apologized.

Poor guy. This is comparable to receiving a fake love letter from your elementary school crush (which may or may not have happened to me).

H/T DirtyTackle

8
Feb

Wenger’s airport fall a fitting end to Arsenal’s nightmarish day

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Safe to say it wasn’t a good day for Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger.

Hours after watching his team get smacked around Anfield Road to the tune of a 5-1 loss, Wenger apparently slipped and fell at a Liverpool train station with two suitcases in tow. Luckily, according to The Mirror, a club spokesperson has said “he’s fine,” but someone did snap pictures of the whole thing happening, even though we don’t know who. It illustrates perfectly the kind of day Arsenal were having.

While Wenger took the fall, some of his players at least took responsibility for the dreadful performance against Liverpool:

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Images via: 101GG

24
Jan

Goalkeeper scolded for falling out of tree trying to save cat

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If you saw a cat stuck in a tree, would you save it?

Victor Francoz did, but paid dearly for it. The French goalkeeper for English semi-pro side Oxford City fell out of the tree and injured himself while trying to save a cuddly feline. Francoz will have to miss two weeks of action thanks to a deep gash in his calf. And to make matters worse, his coach Mike Ford has “no sympathy” for the fallen hero.

Ford told The Oxford Mail:

"It’s ridiculous. I’ve not got any sympathy for him at all because he’s done it to himself. He fell out of a tree when he was trying to get a cat.

He’s got a deep cut and unfortunately now we don’t have Victor because he’s gone back to France for a couple of weeks to have treatment. You just don’t get professional players climbing trees.”

The 23-year-old signed for the club this past summer with hopes of a playing career in England, but will now be unable to take part in Oxford’s next few games. His worst-case scenario? The fireman stunt may cost him his place as first-choice goalkeeper.

Dude, next time try 911.

H/T The Guardian

11
Jan

Wardrobe Malfunction! Ricardo Carvalho puts shirt on backwards

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Oops!

Monaco defender Ricardo Carvalho forgot how to put a shirt on correctly after removing his undershirt per referee’s orders. Rushed as he tried to rejoin the match, Carvalho put it own backwards by mistake.

To Carvalho’s defense, he’s not alone. Wardrobe malfunctions seem to have become more of a thing among footballers in recent years. Just ask Mario “Bibotelli:”

"He can’t even get his bib on there, Ray."

H/T Metro

Snapshot via Metro

15
Dec

Kasimpasa’s Ryan Donk uses second ball to stop opponents’ attack

As comedian Dave Chappelle might say, “I’m sorry, Mr. Referee, I didn’t know I … couldn’t do that.”

During a Turkey Super Lig match between Kasimpasa and Besiktas, Kasimpasa defender Ryan Donk blatantly stopped a Besiktas attack by throwing a second ball at the ball in play. Even better, Donk then had the nerve to claim his innocence after receiving a yellow card for the stunt.

Dude, you carried another ball and then threw it at the match ball. That’s illegal, as far as we know.

Somehow, that wasn’t even the ballsiest move of the game.

In the second half, with Kasimpasa up 2-1, a fan ran onto the field and punched down a Besiktas player, before getting gang-tackled by several players from the home team: