20
Sep

Emile Heskey CAN actually hit a cow’s arse with a banjo

There’s never been a shortage of jokes about former England international Emile Heskey. But the long-standing and most heard was a quip about a cow’s arse and a banjo.

Basically, that he couldn’t hit one with the other.

There are many claims that have been made about Heskey, but this one, it turns out, isn’t true.

Finally, that line can be retired.

(H/T Daily Mail)

20
Sep

Young Hull City goalkeeper nails singing “I’m Yours” for initiation

Standing in front of your team and singing a song is a pretty popular initiation for most new signings, but not many actually have the pipes to pull it off.

But young Hull City goalkeeper Rory Watson serenaded his teammates with a rather lovely version of Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” on their road trip to Newcastle.


While he probably won’t be winning “The X Factor” any time soon, you have to admit Rory’s got a little bit of a hidden talent. If soccer doesn’t work out, he could totally be a lounge or cruise singer.

(H/T Metro)

10
Sep

Sprinklers shower TV commentators before Switzerland-England match

The world got a front row seat to the hazards of touchline reporting earlier this week, and it didn’t disappoint.

ITV commentators Lee Dixon, Ian Wright, Glen Hoddle and Adrian Chiles were analyzing England’s game plan prior to the Three Lions’ 2-0 victory against Switzerland at St. Jakob-Park in Euro 2016 qualifying. Then, unexpectedly, the sprinklers were turned on and showered the English pundits on live television before the match:

Splash!

We understand the importance of gamesmanship. We just didn’t know that it applied to members of the media as well.

H/T NESN

4
Sep

Young fan thinks he can win the Champions League with Leeds United

Seven-year-old Zack Webb thinks pretty highly of his managerial skills. He may well be the next Jose Mourinho or Josep Guardiola, but for now, he’s just a young boy with big dreams.

Unless Leeds United owner Massimo Cellino decides to take him up on his offer:

It has been a decade since Leeds United have been in top flight football. At this point, might as well give the little fella a shot, right?

(H/T Deadspin)

4
Sep

Bungay Town: Our new favorite amateur football club

image(Photo Illustration via FOX Sports.com)

For the uninitiated, Non-League Day is a day where English soccer fans are encouraged to go check out their local non-league (usually amateur) teams. The day falls on a break in fixtures for the Premier and Championship League teams, so there’s no conflict.

Non-League Day brings about a lot of curious and quirky methods designed to draw fans through the turnstiles, but Suffolk-based Bungay Town might have taken the cake.

That’s right, everybody! A free punnet of mushrooms! You know you want some:

But the fun doesn’t stop there, as Bungay Town have become our new favorite team. Just look at how they describe themselves on their twitter account:

We kick pig’s bladders through white sticks on a purely amateur basis.

And what’s more, they sport a self-deprecating sense of humor.

They even have mushroom puns!

They’ve got social media down. Seems like a group of real fun-guys …

We’ll see ourselves out.

(h/t Pies)

1
Sep

How not to do Social Media: Leeds United fans aren’t too happy with their club’s Twitter account

A little more than an hour remained on Deadline Day when Leeds United’s Twitter account sent out a tweet teasing their fans that more deals were set to be done by the club.

The Championship club got their fans all worked up, expecting some new additions to a squad hoping to secure a much higher finish than the previous season.

The first deal to come through saw Leeds striker Matt Smith complete a move to Fulham. Not exactly what the Elland Road faithful were hoping for. But there had to be at least one inbound player, right? RIGHT?

Nope. Two minutes before the transfer window closed, Leeds announced another departure. Well, maybe a post-deadline announcement was imminent?

Wrong again.

We can’t repeat them here, but the responses to Leeds’ final tweet give you a colorful picture of how the fans feel about staying up for an extra hour or so just to see two players sold. Not many will ever trust the @LUFC account again.

1
Sep

Sky reporter uses vanishing spray to keep QPR fans under control

You can always count on some wacky things to happen during Sky Sports’ coverage of Deadline Day. (Considering how many consecutive hours their reporters spend outside of stadiums across England, it’s surprising that more shenanigans don’t happen.)

With about 5 hours before the transfer window closed on Monday, Gary Cotterill used a unique method of keeping the rowdy QPR fans behind him at bay: vanishing spray.

The fans seem happy to oblige Gary, standing the designated four feet away from him behind the white line. They’re more well-behaved than some actual footballers, who are happy to sneak a step beyond the disappearing line.

29
Aug

David Beckham fell off his motorcycle, but don’t worry, he’s mostly OK

The English football icon has been making the most of his retirement, spending a lot of time indulging in some of his other hobbies. One of his favorites is riding motorcycles. 

Earlier this summer, a documentary called “Into The Unknown,” starring David Beckham was released, highlighting his travels through Brazil on his motorcycle.

While Beckham may be able to tackle the difficulties of riding through the Amazon, it seems that Golden Balls had a bit more trouble cruising down the Sunset Strip. According to TMZ, Beckham had to lay down his bike in the middle of the street to avoid paparazzi.

Now it looks like Becks may have injured his wrist in the accident. At least it wasn’t the moneymaker!

It’s clear that Beckham is certainly enjoying his retirement, but we all would like him stay in one piece, please.
16
Aug

Vanishing spray makes near-perfect Premier League debut

image

The popular free-kick tool known as “magic spray” made its debut in the Premier League on Saturday.  Across England, every spray of the vanishing white foam was greeted with applause and cheers from the stands.

Most of the refs seemed happy with their new-found spraying power. In particular, Manchester United-Swansea City referee Mike Dean, who used his canister with great enthusiasm (though Nathan Dyer wasn’t too impressed with this line).

Unfortunately, with any new product there’s always a chance of it backfiring. Poor referee Jon Moss learned that the hard way as he attempted to draw out the lines for an Arsenal free kick, and ended up spraying it all over himself:

image

Brutal. Hopefully that stuff doesn’t sting. Practice makes perfect, Jon. Keep at it and you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

Photographs: Action Images, Getty Images

16
Aug

Pitch invader takes halfway decent free kick

imageJust look at the form - and those kicks. Perfect. (Photo: Action Images)

Most pitch invaders storm the field in hopes of hugging their favorite player, or snapping selfies with as many stars as possible. 

But on the opening day of the Premier League, one fan took a different route, and elected to show off his football skills. He saw the opportune moment as Spurs lined up to take a free kick and pounced with lightning quick speed.

Christian Eriksen looked just devastated that the strike didn’t go in. And to be honest, his ensuing free kick wasn’t any better than the pitch invader’s attempt.

Maybe Blackpool should consider giving the fan a call.