21
Mar

What would a team of 11 Kevin Grosskreutzes look like?

With a squad depleted by injury, transfers and card suspensions, Borussia Dortmund’s lineup is a far cry from what it was last year during the UEFA Champions League:

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(Image: Imgur)

One player available, though? Kevin Grosskreutz, the jack-of-all-trades for BVB. But it’s a shame he can’t play every position against Real Madrid … or can he?

This video isn’t particularly new, but it’s certainly relevant. What would Dortmund look like with Grosskreutz between the sticks, leading the line, and everywhere in between?

Thanks to the internet, now we know. And we also know Grosskreutz falls like a total klutz after getting beaned with a ball.

(h/t Reddit)

14
Mar

Tim Sherwood takes offense to Jorge Jesus during Europa League loss

Thursday wasn’t a great day for Tottenham, having had their Europa League dreams essentially dashed by Benfica in a 3-1 loss.

The already-tense affair grew even more testy after Luisao scored his second goal of the contest. Benfica boss Jorge Jesus celebrated by throwing up three fingers, which appeared to be in the direction of the Tottenham technical area.

Spurs manager Tim Sherwood caught sight of it and took exception. At one point it looks as though Sherwood even squared Jesus up before thinking better of it.  The world’s tiniest fourth official then stood between the managers as they shouted at each other, and cooler heads finally prevailed.

After the match, Jesus pleaded his innocence, saying: “I was saying ’number three, Luisao. Number three.’ That’s his own problem if he felt like that.”

Sherwood was unamused and accused Jesus of lacking class. “I thought his team were very good and showed a lot of class. It’s just a shame their manager didn’t,” Sherwood said.

"Waving goodbye like that? It lacks class. Why would anyone do that? He’s got a good side, of course he has, but not for me thank you. I have no intention of speaking to him.”

We can’t wait to see what the second leg has in store next week at Lisbon.

14
Mar

Either do Daniel Sturridge’s dance correct, or don’t do it at all

(Image: Getty)

If you hadn’t noticed, Daniel Sturridge has a very identifiable dance. It’s quite difficult to properly describe, but just watch a Liverpool or England game and you’re likely to see him bust it out, given his torrid scoring clip.

But with great success comes great responsibility, and Sturridge told the BBC he doesn’t want anyone doing his dance improperly.

"If someone does a dance that you’ve created, and they do it wrong, you look bad, no?" the Liverpool striker said. Makes sense! But fear not, he wants to give rhythm-less schmoes like us a tutorial.

Sturridge also hinted that the dance isn’t quite complete, noting something is in the “pipeline” for next season. Maybe the tutorial should wait until we know exactly what we’re up against.

12
Mar

Gerard Pique to Shakira: No more music videos with men

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Ever wonder why Shakira and Rihanna teamed up to make that sultry “Can’t Remember to Forget You” video? Guess what: it was all Gerard Pique’s fault.

According to an interview with Billboard Magazine, the Voice coach isn’t allowed to perform in music videos with other men anymore, per request by her baby daddy Pique.

"He’s very territorial," Shakira told Billboard. "Since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women."

Shakira went on to say, “It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question, which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”

And as you can see below, Rihanna does indeed, uh, graze her thigh.

It’s pretty clear Shakira has her fair share of admirers, all of which will be disappointed to hear the news that’s she’s being so closely protected by her man:

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Be careful, kid. Pique probably won’t like that.

H/T to Billboard

18
Dec

Raja Casablanca players ransack a willing Ronaldinho for memorabilia

Say what you will about Ronaldinho, but he’s far from washed up.

The former Barcelona and Paris Saint-Germain standout turned back the clock on Wednesday, scoring a ridiculous take free-kick golazo during Atletico Mineiro’s Club World Cup semifinal match against Raja Casablanca.

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Unfortunately for Atletico Mineiro, Raja Casablanca would go on to defeat Ronaldinho’s squad 3-1 in high-end offensive thriller at Stade de Marrakech in Morocco. As you can imagine, the jam-packed stadium celebrated with joy after their home side’s stunning victory over the defending Copa Libertadores champions.

Even Raja Casablanca players seized the opportunity to grab a piece of history and snatched off equipment from the two-time FIFA World Player of the Year. Not settling for just his jersey, Casablanca players asked for (and received) the Brazilian legend’s boots!

Raja players looked like kids swarming when a piñata finally bursts open. Take a look:

And kudos go to Ronaldinho, who was under no obligation to be such a good sport. We doubt there are many players who would be so gracious in the wake of a tough loss. “Tis the season of giving after all.

17
Dec

Bayern Munich players try hand at basketball, should stick to soccer

Bayern Munich is arguably the best soccer team in the world right now. Sure, there are arguments to be made for other squads, but we’re not here to do that.

There’s no argument, however, that Bayern’s basketball team will not be recruiting the help of any of their soccer club-mates.

Seen in the video above (in what loosely can be defined as a shootaround) Bayern stars like Thomas Muller and Dante show off their skills on the hardwood. Even Javi Martinez flushed a sweet dunk.

It doesn’t take long to see the Bayern soccer luminaries aren’t quiet as deft with a ball in their hands as they are with one at their feet, which makes sense.

After a few blatant traveling violations, double dribbles and bricked shot attempts, Muller and Co. proceed to ditch their hands. In a wise move, they stick to the appendages they know best: their heads and feet.

That’s when things start to take off, as the two Bayern Munich sports teams combine to bring a little Harlem Globetrotter flavor to Morocco. What starts as a pretty cringe-worthy performance (see: Muller’s hook shot) turns into a pretty awesome show.

13
Dec

Jose Mourinho literally laughs off Wayne Rooney rumors

Transfer rumors really are just that: Rumors.

While it’s been no secret that Chelsea manager has an affinity for Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney, it’s highly unlikely he’d acknowledge any speculation at this time. After all, ‘tis the season for dodging questions!

So, when Mou was asked again about Chelsea being linked with Rooney, the manager laughed it off and asked, “Linked by who?”

Chuckles were had, but the whole room really had a laugh when a member of the media fessed up and said, “Me!”

It gave Mourinho the perfect scapegoat for the question. Jose redirected any further pressing by the original reporter to the one claiming responsibility for the rumor.

And in the end, all of us are left to ponder the truth.

(h/t 101GG)

13
Dec

Tottenham’s Sandro waxed in effort to make The Beast cry

¡Ay carumba! Spurs TV has done it again. Last month, Sandro, aka “The Beast,” was quoted as saying, “The Beast does not cry.”

Searching for a way to make Tottenham’s Brazilian midfielder eat his words, Spurs TV took to social media to field suggestions. One fan recommended waxing the decidedly hairy man’s legs.

And thus, the video above was born. The exchange between The Beast and the Spurs TV host before the act itself is pure comedy, but if you’d prefer to skip to the nitty-gritty, go ahead and fast forward to the one-minute mark.

Sandro handles it like a champ, and even asks for more! And then, after laughing off the feeble attempt to make The Beast cry, Sandro curiously takes a whiff of the waxing strip.

Whew! Good thing it wasn’t a Brazilian wax.

29
Nov

Zlatan: I don’t need trophy to know I’m the best

Ever the model of modesty, Paris Saint-Germain talisman Zlatan Ibrahimovic continued his unrivaled track record of humility after PSG’s  2-1 win against Olympiakos.

It’s trophy season, and despite his awesomeness, Ibra isn’t expected to be a finalist for the Ballon d’Or. But that doesn’t matter to Zlatan, as seen in the video above.

Zlatan even managed to get a bit of a rib in on his contemporaries, saying:

No, it’s nothing that I think about. It seems very important for other players, but for me it’s not important. I know what I feel about myself and I know what I think about myself. … I don’t need a trophy to tell myself that I’m the best.

Boom! Another day, another slice of humble pie served up by Zlatan. You’ve got to love him.

(h/t 101GG)

21
Nov

Zlatan: I didn’t applaud Ronaldo’s hat trick (With video!)

Comments made by Zlatan Ibrahimovic made the rounds on Thursday, with the Swedish talisman denying reports he applauded Cristiano Ronaldo’s remarkable hat trick.

“Was I applauding Ronaldo? No, I was just trying to encourage my team-mates,” Ibrahimovic told La Gazzetta dello Sport, via the London Evening Standard.

"I clapped my hands to cheer them up and motivate them for the last few minutes.

Lucky for us, there’s video evidence to prove it:

This video shows Zlatan and Ronaldo’s reactions to their respective goals, and it’s quite telling. Considering you can see Ibra clapping his hands and encouraging teammates after CR7’s first and second goals, it seems the Swede’s side of the story holds water.

But there’s more to be seen in this video. It really should be enjoyed in its entirety, but some of our favorite moments:

  • Ronaldo glancing up to see the replay of his first goal, because who wouldn’t want to see that again (49 second mark)?
  • A two-fer! Ronaldo’s utter disbelief when Zlatan heads in his first, and Ibra’s steely stare at Pepe after scoring (2:25 mark).
  • An upset Cristiano attempting to spit on the ground after Zlatan scores his free kick, but hocking a nice rope of saliva onto his chin.
  • Pepe getting pulled off the Portuguese pile after Ronaldo’s hat trick (5:35 mark).

Let’s hope these two match up again real soon, and more videos like this emerge.

(h/t 101GreatGoals)