29
Sep

Brazilian goalkeeper scores own goal via diving header

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Meet Joao Carlos.

Joao is a Brazilian goalkeeper for Serie B side Boa EC. By all accounts, he’s a rather decent one, too. In his last seven starts (before Saturday’s 2-0 loss to Avai), the 26-year-old gave up just two goals as Boa won all but one of their games.

Alas, even the best know that sometimes, crazy things just happen on the pitch. We’re talking really strange. Things you can’t do anything about, but will bury you with shame regardless.

Things like this: H/T Dirty Tackle

24
Sep

Kaiserslautern striker joins shortlist for “Worst Miss Ever” award

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It’s really been a banner season for our never-ending “worst miss ever” contest, and it’s still only September! Most of our top submissions so far have come out of Germany, where Wolfsburg’s Junior Malanda has tried his best to make it a one-man show.

But now a new player from the German leagues has thrown his hat in the ring: Kaiserslautern striker Philipp Hofmann.

Just look at all of the bad:

Kaiserslautern still won their match vs Union Berlin 1-0, but they probably should’ve been docked a goal for Hofmann’s inexcusable miss.

So, did that take the cake (so far) for our “Worst Miss Ever?”

Not in our book. That honor still belongs to this man:

HOW!?!?

Vine via Alex Chaffer

24
Sep

Olympiakos advance in Greek Cup on ugly own-goal by Panachaiki’s Giannis Kargashad

With the scoreline at 0-0 in their Greek Cup tie against mighty Olympiakos, Panachaiki defender Giannis Kargashad four options here:

A) Kick the ball in the opposite direction of his own goal, preferably up-field or out of play.

B) Let his goalkeeper, who is clearly in good position, pick up the ball or kick it away.

C) Do nothing, let the ball roll past the post for a goal kick (based on our keen eye, it was never going in).

D) Hammer the ball home with authority.

Kargas went with Option D. Panachaiki lost, 1-0. Welp!

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H/T Bleacher Report

22
Sep

Fail! Chicago Fire honor “DeMarcus” Beasley

imageDaMarcus Beasley spent four and a half seaons with the Chicago Fire in the early 2000s, and after a ten-year absence from MLS was acquired by the Houston Dynamo this season.

Next Sunday will mark the first time Beasley faces his former team, and though the match is in Houston, the Fire wanted to show their appreciation for the U.S. national team veteran by flying some banners outside Toyota Park.

Unfortunately, it seems they forgot to double check their work:

Whoops!

22
Sep

Ex-Fulham manager Felix Magath believes in cheese as injury cure?

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Felix Magath’s reign at Fulham ended mercifully last week after leading the club to the bottom of the Championship table. And though the post-Magath era started with yet another loss over the weekend, you can still sense the giant wave of relief at Craven Cottage.

Since Wednesday, Magath has increasingly come under fire from former players who had fled Fulham after it became clear the German would stay despite not saving the club from relegation last season. Chief among them ex-captain Brede Hangeland, who according to Daniel Taylor’s column in the Guardian last week, was once told by Magath to treat a leg injury by - wait for it - rubbing a block of cheese onto the sore area!

Danny Murphy, a team-mate of Hangeland’s for almost five years and also a former Fulham captain, confirmed the bizarre story on the British Premier League review show “Match of the Day Extra.”

'I texted Brede to ask if it was true,' Murphy said, 'Brede told me it was, and that the cheese had to be soaked in alcohol, and that he was told to phone his mother because it would help to speak to someone who loves him while the cheese is working!'

'It's one of many ridiculous sad stories that we've heard about Felix that has ultimately cost him his job and put Fulham in a world of trouble because all the good and experienced players that were here were desperate to leave because of it and did,' Murphy said.

Woah.

Who knew alcohol-soaked cheese does not, in fact, heal leg injuries? You learn something new every day…

H/T Daily Mail

Image provided by Reuters

22
Sep

German player takes diving to a whole new level

imageIf they handed out a Golden Raspberry to the worst diver of the year, then Preußen Münster midfielder Benjamin Siegert would win 2014’s award in a landslide.

As if his initial dive against Sonnenhof Großapach wasn’t already terrible enough this weekend, Siegert upped the ante for the Ashley Youngs of the world with a truly ridiculous break-dance move at the end, miraculously jumping up from the ground before writhing in agony one more time: Truly horrific stuff. No wonder this guy plays in the third division. He’s clearly got to work on his play-acting skills if he wants to make it to the top!

H/T Reddit

Image provided by Getty

17
Sep

Referees, Pep Guardiola commit Champions League fashion taboos

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If it’s one thing we learned on Matchday 1 of the Champions League, it’s that people are not loving the new referee kits.

It’s not just that they’re ugly. During the Dortmund-Arsenal match, it was difficult to tell where the ref even was at times.

Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that we can’t tell if they’re actually a referee or just a random fan who got lost on his way to his seat and nobody bothered to stop them?

image"Somebody, stop that fan! Oh … it’s you.

Yeah, maybe that’s it.

Sadly, the official’s new threads were not even close to being the biggest fashion disaster this week. 

That honor belongs to none other than Bayern manager Pep Guardiola.

Always dressed to the nines on the sidelines, this time Pep forgot about a small but critical component to his outfit:

THE ZIPPER! OMG! SOMEBODY TELL PEP HIS FLY IS OPEN!!

Not a good look. Not a good look at all.

Images provided by Getty

17
Sep

Arsenal’s Lukas Podolski can’t find his shinguards

This about sums up Arsenal’s performance in Dortmund on Tuesday: Lukas Podolski couldn’t find his shinguards after being told to come on as a second-half substitute:

Luckily, Mesut Ozil eventually loaned Podolski his.

It was Ozil’s best assist of the evening.

H/T OffThePost

16
Sep

Thailand’s women’s national team gets cash bonus for losing ‘only’ 5-0

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Thailand’s women’s national team lost 5-0 to South Korea in their Asia Games opener this weekend, a pretty discouraging way to open the tournament. Unless, of course, if you’re on the team.

Believe it or not, the Thailand FA awarded each player a bonus of 100,000 Thai baht ($6,200) for only losing 5-0. We kid you not.

"We fared better in the second half," the FA president told the Nation newspaper. “The association had planned to give the team 200,000 baht ($6,200) if they won the match, but, for the players’ efforts, we decided to hand them 100,000 as consolation.”

Um, where can we sign up for a roster spot?

In America, we often hear complaints over giving out participation trophies at youth tournaments. This is a little worse, don’t you think?

H/T SBNation (Pic: Stanley Chou)

13
Sep

Birmingham’s Wes Thomas scores net-breaking goal

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Birmingham City’s Championship game against Leeds United on Saturday was delayed for nine minutes after Wes Thomas’s 38th-minute goal literally broke the net.

Thomas dislodged the back left stanchion of the net with the game’s opening goal, and it took the ground staff a considerable amount of time to replace the broken support beam.

The crazy thing about it: Thomas even went with a finesse shot instead of power, yet still managed to break it! Birmingham, we have to talk about your net quality…

Watch (1:00 min mark):