16
Oct

FAIL! French U-21 defender teases opponents prematurely

Layvin Kurzawa (R), before it all went wrong. (Getty Image)

Remember that time in grade school when you were taught not to tease your peers or it would come back and bite you in the butt? That what goes around comes around?

So, apparently, France Under-21 defender Layvin Kurzawa didn’t learn that.

With his side down 3-2 on aggregate in their UEFA U-21 Championship qualifying playoff against Sweden, Kurzawa scored in the 89th minute to put the visitors up on away goals. Convinced that this goal would seal France’s spot in next summer’s tournament, the brash defender mockingly saluted several Swedes as he celebrated.

Big mistake.

Just one minute later, Oscar Lewicki responded with his second goal of the game to push Sweden through, 4-3 on aggregate, and boy did they let Kurzawa hear it after:

15
Oct

Mayor of London trips little kid while playing soccer

London Mayor Boris Johnson took part in a friendly kick-around with local schoolchildren on Wednesday, and almost made a mess of the whole affair after tripping up a little boy. Yikes!

Johnson has a history of cynical tackling. He once took down former Germany international Maurizio Gaudino in a 2006 charity match:

The lesson as always: Don’t let politicians play sports.

13
Oct

Brazilian winger celebrates goal he didn’t actually score

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Cruzeiro winger Nilton may want to stay off the internet for a couple days. There’s a good chance he’s the butt of every joke in Brazil right now.

Nilton thought he had scored his side’s equalizer during Sunday’s clash against Flamengo, but as you can see, his header actually sailed well over the net. That didn’t stop Nilton from turning away in short-lived ecstasy:

When you celebrate the goal you think you scored and everyone else is like… dude what are you doing:

H/T Pies

Image provided by Getty

1
Oct

Doink! Monaco player, female referee both get balls shot in the face

It’s been a tough couple days for faces in soccer.

On Wednesday, Monaco defender Ricardo Carvalho took one on the chin in his Champions League match against Zenit…

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Ouch!

… and a few days earlier, Argentine referee Salome Di Iorio got it even worse. Watch as she gets her face absolutely walloped by a hard - and probably terrible - cross in a lower league match:

Double ouch!

According to Eurosport, the impact was so bad Di Iorio had to be helped off the pitch and was taken to a hospital as a precaution.

H/T WAATP

29
Sep

Brazilian goalkeeper scores own goal via diving header

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Meet Joao Carlos.

Joao is a Brazilian goalkeeper for Serie B side Boa EC. By all accounts, he’s a rather decent one, too. In his last seven starts (before Saturday’s 2-0 loss to Avai), the 26-year-old gave up just two goals as Boa won all but one of their games.

Alas, even the best know that sometimes, crazy things just happen on the pitch. We’re talking really strange. Things you can’t do anything about, but will bury you with shame regardless.

Things like this: H/T Dirty Tackle

24
Sep

Kaiserslautern striker joins shortlist for “Worst Miss Ever” award

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It’s really been a banner season for our never-ending “worst miss ever” contest, and it’s still only September! Most of our top submissions so far have come out of Germany, where Wolfsburg’s Junior Malanda has tried his best to make it a one-man show.

But now a new player from the German leagues has thrown his hat in the ring: Kaiserslautern striker Philipp Hofmann.

Just look at all of the bad:

Kaiserslautern still won their match vs Union Berlin 1-0, but they probably should’ve been docked a goal for Hofmann’s inexcusable miss.

So, did that take the cake (so far) for our “Worst Miss Ever?”

Not in our book. That honor still belongs to this man:

HOW!?!?

Vine via Alex Chaffer

24
Sep

Olympiakos advance in Greek Cup on ugly own-goal by Panachaiki’s Giannis Kargashad

With the scoreline at 0-0 in their Greek Cup tie against mighty Olympiakos, Panachaiki defender Giannis Kargashad four options here:

A) Kick the ball in the opposite direction of his own goal, preferably up-field or out of play.

B) Let his goalkeeper, who is clearly in good position, pick up the ball or kick it away.

C) Do nothing, let the ball roll past the post for a goal kick (based on our keen eye, it was never going in).

D) Hammer the ball home with authority.

Kargas went with Option D. Panachaiki lost, 1-0. Welp!

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H/T Bleacher Report

22
Sep

Fail! Chicago Fire honor “DeMarcus” Beasley

imageDaMarcus Beasley spent four and a half seaons with the Chicago Fire in the early 2000s, and after a ten-year absence from MLS was acquired by the Houston Dynamo this season.

Next Sunday will mark the first time Beasley faces his former team, and though the match is in Houston, the Fire wanted to show their appreciation for the U.S. national team veteran by flying some banners outside Toyota Park.

Unfortunately, it seems they forgot to double check their work:

Whoops!

22
Sep

Ex-Fulham manager Felix Magath believes in cheese as injury cure?

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Felix Magath’s reign at Fulham ended mercifully last week after leading the club to the bottom of the Championship table. And though the post-Magath era started with yet another loss over the weekend, you can still sense the giant wave of relief at Craven Cottage.

Since Wednesday, Magath has increasingly come under fire from former players who had fled Fulham after it became clear the German would stay despite not saving the club from relegation last season. Chief among them ex-captain Brede Hangeland, who according to Daniel Taylor’s column in the Guardian last week, was once told by Magath to treat a leg injury by - wait for it - rubbing a block of cheese onto the sore area!

Danny Murphy, a team-mate of Hangeland’s for almost five years and also a former Fulham captain, confirmed the bizarre story on the British Premier League review show “Match of the Day Extra.”

'I texted Brede to ask if it was true,' Murphy said, 'Brede told me it was, and that the cheese had to be soaked in alcohol, and that he was told to phone his mother because it would help to speak to someone who loves him while the cheese is working!'

'It's one of many ridiculous sad stories that we've heard about Felix that has ultimately cost him his job and put Fulham in a world of trouble because all the good and experienced players that were here were desperate to leave because of it and did,' Murphy said.

Woah.

Who knew alcohol-soaked cheese does not, in fact, heal leg injuries? You learn something new every day…

H/T Daily Mail

Image provided by Reuters

22
Sep

German player takes diving to a whole new level

imageIf they handed out a Golden Raspberry to the worst diver of the year, then Preußen Münster midfielder Benjamin Siegert would win 2014’s award in a landslide.

As if his initial dive against Sonnenhof Großapach wasn’t already terrible enough this weekend, Siegert upped the ante for the Ashley Youngs of the world with a truly ridiculous break-dance move at the end, miraculously jumping up from the ground before writhing in agony one more time: Truly horrific stuff. No wonder this guy plays in the third division. He’s clearly got to work on his play-acting skills if he wants to make it to the top!

H/T Reddit

Image provided by Getty