16
Aug

Real Madrid full-kit pitch invader tries to blend in on corner kick

image

This is Cristiano Ronaldo. He played and scored against Fiorentina in Real Madrid’s 2-1 friendly loss on Saturday. He was subbed off at halftime, but somehow ‘Cristiano Ronaldo’ magically appeared back on the pitch in the 75th minute.

Okay, clearly that is not the Cristiano Ronaldo. It is a fan who thought himself clever by wearing a full kit, invading the pitch and trying to blend in on a Fiorentina corner kick. It actually worked pretty well as no one seemed to know what was going on or what to do.

He was pretty much was given free rein to walk wherever he pleased.

Security? Anybody? No? Okay then. Well played, sir.

9
Aug

Cristiano Ronaldo is so over doing regular push-ups

image

Ronaldo with Irina. Are we sure they’re not just wax figures? (Image: Getty)

When you’re Cristiano Ronaldo, nothing about your life is normal. He dates a super model, plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, makes way too much money and has magical hair gel that keeps his locks perfect at all times.

So why would his push-ups be normal?

Clearly, he is bored with the regular form of this exercise and decided to add a little extra challenge to it, because he’s Cristiano Ronaldo. He even gets back up like he’s super-human.

Come on, dude, stop making your teammates look bad.

(H/T The Score)

31
Jul

Men’s Health declares Cristiano Ronaldo “Fittest Man Alive”

image

That’s a lot of muscle and not a lot of fat. (Image: @MadridSportsES)

Cristiano Ronaldo is shirtless again — we know, we know, you’re shocked — and this time it’s on the cover of Men’s Health magazine’s September issue. They’ve declared him the Fittest Man Alive, and really, when you break down the numbers (or just use your eyeballs) it’s hard to argue otherwise.

Just a few nuggets from his spread in the fitness magazine:

-Ronaldo runs more than six miles per game
-His body fat is in the low single digits (well, duh)
-In a typical game, he sprints 33 times at a top speed of about 21 mph
-He can kick that ball at 80 mph (surprised he hasn’t broken a net yet)

Okay, we get it Cristiano. YOU’RE IN SHAPE. Can you stop showing off now? The rest of us are feeling self-conscious.

Here’s a look behind the scenes of his cover shoot, in case you want to feel even worse about your own physique:

27
Jun

Ronaldo rewards hotel creep with autographs and pictures?

image

Even in defeat, Cristiano Ronaldo is a saint to his fans.

A 15-year-old boy reportedly climbed down a drainpipe to Ronaldo’s balcony of his Brasilia hotel room and frightened the superstar when he returned. But instead of calling security, the Portugal star let the fan take home some autographs, pictures and a story he’ll never forget.

According to Globo Esporte, Yago Leal and a friend managed to evade security and access the roof of the hotel, but only Yago proceeded to go through with the dare.

Globo Esporte:

“Yago, from Brasilia, said he found a way across the roof of the Portuguese national team’s hotel and reached the balcony of Cristiano Ronaldo with another friend.

“However, when it was time to invade the playmaker’s room, he went alone. Inside the room, he took time to look around before CR7 came back.

“When Ronaldo returned, the player was frightened by the presence of the boy, but, according to him, treated him well and did not call security.

“He even gave him some autographs, took photos and helped Yago find his way back outside, this time down the corridor.”

Yago told Globo, “I lay in (Ronaldo’s) bed because I knew he’d slept in it, and when he came in, I was there. He was good to me. He said that I had better go, but that he would not call security.”

Yeah, that's not creepy or anything!

H/T Pies

Image: Reuters

23
Jun

CR7’s new haircut reportedly matches scar of a young fan who’d just undergone surgery

You may recall that Portuguese superstar Cristiano Ronaldo quietly donated over $85K to pay for 10-month old Erik Ortiz Cruz to undergo brain surgery in March.

Sunday, Ronaldo was seen sporting a fresh zig-zag cut in his hair during the USA and Portugal game — reportedly cut in to match the scar young Erik has been left with after his surgery.

Unfortunately, the official World Cup account on Instagram described the haircut instead as showing the number seven — which of course is the number Ronaldo wears:

The tagline for the Instagram picture was: “7: a shirt number, but also the number of games @cristiano wants to play at this #WorldCup. Barbers will be asked for this around the world tomorrow! #Portugal #Copa2014″.

Maybe. But after hearing about CR7’s kind act, we’d rather believe it’s a show of solidarity with brave young Erik.

(H/T: 101GG)

19
Jun

Brazilian model, Ronaldo super-fan, kicked out of Portugal’s training session

Cristiano Ronaldo has a very persistent ‘number one’ fan.

The Brazilian model (runner-up in something called the “2012 Miss Bumbum” pageant) and reality TV star Andressa Urach attended Portugal’s training session on Wednesday in hopes of garnering Mr. Ronaldo’s attention.

Urach, however, was escorted off the premises after gaining access with a press credential on behalf of the Brazilian television station that she is working with.

Urach was not happy about it and posted her displeasure on Instagram.

Urach’s thing for CR7 has been going on for a while. In 2013, she caused a stir in the tabloids after claiming she slept with Ronaldo a few days before his Real Madrid squad lost a Champions League game. (Ronaldo has denied it, and seems genuinely horrified by the woman.)

And Urach has had run-ins with the Portugal’s security staff before. Recently, she showed up with her, ahem, ample torso painted with a Ronaldo Portugal jersey to “greet” the team’s arrival in Brazil. (There’s YouTube video out there if you really, really need to see it. You don’t)

That security detail Portugal hired is starting to make a whole lot more sense now.

(h/t Larry Brown Sports/Dirty Tackle)

15
Jun

Ronaldo may be a striker, but he’s surrounded by defenders

image

(Image: MARCA)

Cristiano Ronaldo likes to travel in style… but 50 bodyguards seems extreme.

The Portuguese FA is pulling out all the stops to make sure the team is safe as they travel around Brazil. 

MARCA has done some digging into the expanse of Portugal’s security.

According to the report, there are 3 different security forces working with the team: the Policía Federal Brasileña, la Militar de Sao Paulo, and the Brazilian Army.

On top of that, there are at least 15 security men keeping an eye on the team’s base in Sao Paulo at any given time.

But probably the most impressive statistic is the security assigned just to Ronaldo.

MARCA reports that the superstar is accompanied by a minimum of 50 bodyguards at any moment. Plus, the team requested his family not travel to Brazil until later in the tournament.

And, whenever the team is on the move, they are escorted by 2 armored cars, 9 motorcycles, a helicopter, with the help of the Sao Paulo Traffic Police.

(h/t 101 Great Goals)

10
Jun

Cristiano Ronaldo threw around a football at training on Monday

image

Cristiano Ronaldo throws a football before a team practice session (Image: Action Images).

Much to the delight of Portugal fans (and probably dismay of USA, Ghana and Germany fans) Cristiano Ronaldo returned to training Monday ahead of “Os Navegadores” friendly against the Republic of Ireland.

Since the team was training at the New York Jets’ facility in Florham Park, New Jersey, it made sense for the Portuguese players to try their hands (get it?) at a little American football.

Of course, the newly fit Ronaldo took a few tosses with the hand-egg under the tutelage of Jets wideout David Nelson. This all goes down at about the 30-second mark of the video above, and the results are about what you’d expect from a guy that makes his living primarily using his feet.

There hasn’t been an athlete that physically impressive with that sort of throwing form since Tim Tebow led the charge for the Jets. Maybe CR7 can blame the shorts?

He should definitely blame the shorts.

(h/t Dirty Tackle)

8
Jun

Referee sprays Mexican players’ boots with foam

During Portugal’s 1-0 win over Mexico on Friday, El Tri stars Andres Guardado and Jose Vazquez learned first-hand not to mess with referee Jeffrey Solis.

Before a free kick for the Portuguese, the Costa Rican official made sure Guardado and Vazquez followed the 10-yard rule to the eighth of an inch, spraying the line of magic foam right over their boots!

Brilliant!

H/T 101GG

4
Jun

Ghanaian witch doctor takes credit for Cristiano Ronaldo’s injury worries

imageNana Kwaku Bonsam, in action (Image: Facebook)

Cristiano Ronaldo is in danger of missing at least Portugal’s 2014 World Cup opener against Germany due to injury, and Ghana’s “most influential witch doctor” — yes, they still exist — has claimed responsibility for his ailment.

Nana Kwaku Bonsam — whose name translates as “Devil of Wednesday” according to The Guardian — predicted in February that the reigning FIFA Ballon d’Or winner would miss the World Cup with a significant injury, and with the tournament just a week away, that is looking increasingly possible.

From The Guardian:

Ghana are set to meet Portugal in their final match of Group G in Brasilia on June 26 and Bonsam claims to have conjured a special powder from his gods, mixed with several leaves and concoctions which have been placed around an image and caricature of the former Manchester United player.

“I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World up or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out through injury,” Bonsam says.

“This injury can never be cured by any medic, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else.”

image

Image courtesy of Getty

You can cry to the heavens all you want, Ronaldo. But apparently, there is no cure to the curse Bonsam placed upon you.