12
May

Zlatan’s acceptance speech has teammates dying from laughter

imageImage: AP

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has dominated the French first division ever since his transfer to PSG two years ago but French, the language? Not so much.

After picking up his second straight Ligue 1 Player of the Year trophy on Sunday, as well as the ‘Top Scorer’ and ‘Best Goal’ awards (a hat-trick for Zlatan, as per usual), PSG’s Swedish superstar wanted to give his acceptance speech in the native tongue.

But while Zlatan is fluent in five languages, French isn’t yet one of them, and teammates Salvatore Sirigu and Marco Verratti couldn’t help but crack up in the audience:

7
May

Zlatan Ibrahimovic gives French reporter the death stare

Not seen in this footage: the reporter promptly soiling his pants.

Canal+ journalist Olivier Tallaron should count his blessings every night for the rest of his life after narrowly escaping the wrath of Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

After PSG clinched their second straight Ligue 1 title on Wednesday night, the French reporter accidentally bumped into one of Zlatan’s two sons on his way to the tunnel. Bad move, bro.

Zlatan was none too pleased, clenching his fist and visibly thinking of a hundred ways to turn the line-cutting culprit into mincemeat.

Just look at that ‘Zlatan Stare of Death:’

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Lesson learned, we hope.

There are literally a million things we’d rather try than encroach on Zlatan or his family’s space, including but not limited to:

  • Setting our teeth on fire.
  • Eating a tub of mayonnaise. A bath tub of it.
  • Taking a boiling pot of French Onion soup to the face.
  • Listening to that “Gigantic” song from the Apple commercial on repeat for 24 hours.
  • This
  • Losing our smartphones
  • Listening to any Pitbull song on repeat for 1 hour.
  • Growing a rat tail. Not just any rat tail. THIS rat tail.

So yeah, don’t mess with Zlatan.

H/T Yahoo!Sports

3
Apr

Trecker’s Travels Day 2: Allez Paris Saint-Germain

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By Jamie Trecker
FOX Soccer

PARIS—The Metro pulled out of Porte St. Cloud with a roar: “Allez Paris! Allez, Allez, Allez Paris!” The chrome cars were draped in red flags and men raced through the compartments, clutching cans of Leffe, singing, hoarse and sweaty: “Trois-un! TROIS! UN!” Their giddiness was understandable for PSG had done the unthinkable: they had knocked off mighty Chelsea, and put one foot into the semifinals of the Champions League.

Wednesday’s win was a high point for this young French club – PSG has only been in existence since 1972 – and signaled that Qatar’s ambitious program is paying immediate dividends. This match was no fluke: the Parisians lacked some skill and technique, with Edinson Cavani spectacularly wasteful, but they more than made up for it in possession and drive. By the end of the game, Chelsea were penned back, swept into their own area by a sea of dark blue shirts.

Jose Mourinho was his usual provocative self after the match: he called Javier Pastore’s brilliant individual goal at the death “a joke;” he said he had played Andre Schurrle because he had “no real strikers,” and when he was was asked if the tie was over, he smiled wanly and said no. His face read: “yes.”

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22
Mar

Fan #DaresToZlatan, gets rewarded


LE BEAU GESTE DE ZLATAN by footeo-clubeo Game recognize game!

A young fan stormed the field following PSG’s 1-0 win at FC Lorient on Friday with only one goal in mind: get Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s shirt. Remembering what he learned from the Great Zlatan’s recent Twitter lecture, the fan daringly sprinted over and slid in front of Ibrahimovic, before asking for — and receiving — his hero’s jersey. He even got a hug out of it!

See? That’s what happens when you #DareToZlatan.

H/T r/soccer

6
Mar

Zlatan praises Matuidi wonder goal

Blaise Matuidi scored a ridiculous goal for France in their friendly against the Netherlands yesterday. The entire soccer world took notice, and for good reason.

The best way to describe it is a no-look spinning scissor kick, but it’s better if you just watch it:

The stunning strike even caught the attention of PSG teammate and soccer god Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Only Zlatan can get away with talking in third person while complimenting another player. Because Zlatan does what Zlatan wants.