14
May

Summing up the Premier League in one tidy little flowchart

Wondering where it all went wrong (unless you’re a Man City fan) for your Premier League team? Was it “lots of own goals and red cards” that did your team in? Maybe it was spending “£27.5 on a giraffe in a wig” that was the final nail in the coffin?

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(Full size)

The fine folks at Project Babb have put together a convenient little flowchart to help answer these questions and make sense of one of the craziest EPL seasons of recent memory.

Enjoy!

(h/t Project Babb)

12
Apr

Sunday Sun burns Newcastle boss Alan Pardew big time

Alan Pardew has been complaining about the local press lately, saying they’re not helping his struggling Newcastle side.

"I think the local press up in the North-East have been damaging for us this week," Pardew said. ”They’ve come for us, they’ve been banned from the stadium and that’s reflected in the fans today. “

Well, this is what one of those banned local newspaper thinks about Pardew’s comments.

Ouch. That’s going to sting for a while.

5
Apr

Man gets taped to Newcastle lamp post in Sunderland kit on stag night

Chances are, this is not how you would envision your bachelor night to go.

A groom-to-be was taped up to a lamppost by his friends in the middle of Newcastle this weekend, wearing, of all things, a full Sunderland kit. (The outfit was complemented by a cartoonish helicopter cap, a nice touch.)

The brave stag, who remains unidentified, thus spent his last night of “freedom” getting honked at and ridiculed by hundreds of strangers in Newcastle. Sounds fun!

H/T Pies

1
Mar

Alan Pardew probably won’t be on the sideline any time soon

Newcastle’s impressive 4-1 win over Hull should have been what everyone was talking about after the final whistle on Saturday, but manager Alan Pardew stole the spotlight.

There aren’t many things a manager could do on the sideline that are worse than head butting a player from the opposing team.

Pardew was quick to apologize, saying he was just trying to "push him away with my head." So, were his hands not working?

We have a feeling that we won’t be seeing the Magpies boss on the touchline any time soon.

H/T 101GG

19
Feb

Arsenal look to hijack Newcastle’s bid for Remy

Loic Remy may have been pulling up trees at Newcastle but will he be there next season? Altough the QPR striker enjoying a loan spell at St James’ Park, the latest speculation is that Arsenal will make a move for the Frenchman in the summer. We’ve also got the latest on Liverpool’s hopes of signing a couple of players during the close season. Click here for more.

18
Feb

Vince McMahon interested in Newcastle takeover?

Premier League club Newcastle United has been on the brink of disaster for years now, and most would say British owner Mike Ashley is the root of the team’s problems.

The club has been on the selling block for quite a while, but a brief spell in the second division after being relegated in 2009 and a lack of “suitable” buyers have caused an agonizingly long delay to any resolution for fans of “The Toon.”

Enter: This man?

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(Image: Imgur.com)

Yes, rumors are swirling that World Wrestling Entertainment magnate Vince McMahon is “sniffing around” the beleaguered club.

While talks are still at their infancy, according to website Winner Sports, we’re assuming the news holds about as much water as a WWE Diva costume.

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(Image: Getty)

Does McMahon have the funds? Most likely. But this is a man that specializes in showmanship and marketing. It seems more like a shrewd ploy to drum up interest in his own brand rather than improve that of Newcastle’s. And apparently, it’s working like a charm.

But let’s entertain the thought and say this is truly a no-holds-barred takeover. Here’s how we see it playing out:

Just when McMahon is about to sign his name on the dotted line for the purchase, he gets clobbered by CM Punk, who was hiding under the ring apron the whole time with a folding chair.

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(Image: Getty)

Sorry, Vinnie Mac, maybe you’ll get your payback at WrestleMania.

(h/t Winner Sports)

7
Feb

Disabled Newcastle fan has season tickets pulled after missing first game in 13 years

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This story will not make Warren Barton happy.

A 65-year-old disabled grandmother and lifelong Newcastle United fan had her season ticket pulled from the club after missing her first match in more than 13 years!

Lilian Held, who lives just a few blocks from St. James Park, had given her ticket to Newcastle’s December fixture against Southampton to her son while she went on vacation. That way, she thought, her two granddaughters, who usually accompany her to the games, would still be able to attend with adult supervision.

Wait, it gets worse.

Midway through the first half of that game, stewards threw Lillian’s 29-year-old son out of the stadium for wrongly being in the seat designated for disabled fans, leaving his 14-year-old twin nieces all alone in the stadium!

OK, surely it can’t get any worse, right?

Wrong.

Upon returning from vacation, Lillian immediately attempted to retrieve her seized season ticket, only to be informed weeks later that her ticket had been sold to another fan. She could pay for a new one next season.

Appalled, Lilian told her story to local paper The Chronicle:

“I have sat in that seat for years. I’m a lifelong fan of Newcastle United and I worked for the club in the 1990s where I had my picture taken with Kevin Keegan.

“Going to the match is the only bit of social time I get. I live for those home games. Taking my ticket from me and selling my seat without giving me the right to even argue my case has completely ruined my year.”

After being bombarded with phone calls and messages after the newspaper ran the story on Thursday, Newcastle felt “compelled” to respond.

This is the club’s statement:

Mrs Held’s subsidized disabled season ticket was cancelled and a pro rata refund given for remaining games of the 2013/14 season following reports of alleged misuse and a subsequent investigation.

As part of this investigation, it was found that Mrs Held’s disabled season ticket seat was being used by an able-bodied supporter during the Newcastle United v Southampton fixture, which is against the terms and conditions agreed at sale.

Mrs Held remains welcome at St James’ Park and can reapply for a concessionary season ticket next season.

Really? There was no better way to settle this?

Well done, Newcastle. *Sarcastic applause*

Photo: Chronicle

5
Feb

Puma prepared to finance Balotelli’s move to Arsenal

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One of the world’s most talked-about players is back in the news for all the right reasons. AC Milan striker Mario Balotelli spent an eventful two and a half years at Manchester City but the Italian could be heading for a return to the Premier League. One newspaper (admittedly not the most reputable of the UK tabloids) has linked Balotelli with a move to Arsenal. The Gunners have recently signed a deal with Puma from next season and the sportswear giant also sponsor Balotelli. Puma are thought to be ready to help finance a deal to bring the two parties together.

We’ve also got the latest rumor on Manchester United’s search for a midfielder. He’s probably had more yellow cards than Balotelli has had new haircuts, but you’ll have to click here to find out who.    

3
Feb

Liverpool could go back for Dnipro winger in summer

Liverpool may have missed out on Yevhen Konoplyanka but that hasn’t put off Brendan Rodgers from thinking about a summer move for the Dnipro winger, according to one of today’s tabloids.

We’ve also got the latest on the future of Newcastle striker Papiss Cisse and of course the build-up to tonight’s big clash between Manchester City and Chelsea. Just click here for more.

27
Jan

Chelsea inching closer to Diego Costa coup

Jose Mourinho may have said that Chelsea will not be signing a striker in the January transfer window but that hasn’t stopped the rumormongers from saying that the Blues have a verbal agreement to sign prolific Atletico Madrid striker Diego Costa. If that’s the case the Londoners, who have parted company with Juan Mata but signed Mohamed Salah this month, will need to get a move on with the closure of the transfer window just four days away

We’ve also got the latest on Southampton defender Luke Shaw, who is a target for the cream of the Premier League, plus Newcastle’s bottom line  for Yohan Cabaye bids. Click here for more.