Here’s Milner, most likely in the middle of telling a joke. (Getty Images)
If you don’t follow @BoringMilner, you really should.
The parody account for Man City midfielder James Milner has amassed almost 250,000 followers on Twitter, and its posts range from hilariously dull to literally mind-numbing. Check out some of his latest Tweets:
Rickie Lambert said he had factor 30 suncream. I said I have factor 30 too, is it a lotion or a spray? He said Spray. I said Mine’s a lotion— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner)June 3, 2014
When I stepped off the plane in Miami I thought it was really warm and I was right because when I checked the temperature it was 27°c.— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner)June 2, 2014
Now that’s as boring as boring gets.
Despite admitting that it’s all “good fun,” Milner recently revealed he’s been trying to track down the responsible party.
Who did he think it could be? Apparently, the World Cup-bound England international suspected that someone at his club, possibly a team masseur, is the culprit. At the Three Lions’ press conference ahead of Wednesday’s friendly against Ecuador, Milner said:
“We went through this at [Man City], wondering who it was. There were a few tweets about Asda, so I was asking the masseurs where they shopped.
“I don’t shop in Asda. I don’t think it’s at the club, no. Who knows? It’s good fun.
“I’ve never got close enough to actually accuse anyone of running it. I thought I had [with the masseurs], but I realised they didn’t have enough banter!”
And so the search continues…