20
Oct

No touching! Goalkeeper sent off for patting opponent’s bum

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In what has to be a first in all of professional sports, CD Marathon goalkeeper Junior Morales was sent off in a recent Honduran top flight match for patting an opponent on the butt.

Real Sociedad striker Eris Hernandez received a couple love taps from Morales after the latter scooped up a harmless ball in the area and got ready to punt the ball up-field. Basically, it’s something you’ve probably seen thousands of times before and will see thousands of times more.

"Butt" to the surprise of everyone, the referee called play back, and after a brief discussion with his assistant - who seemed to had made the call - showed Morales the red card.

Huh!?

Was this the linesman’s first night on the job and he didn’t know this is a thing? Is he just an extreme homophobe? Did Hernandez have a restraining order against Morales or something? We’ll probably never know what was “behind” this puzzling ejection.

H/T Pies

18
Oct

Dundee midfielder celebrates goal with real-life ‘RKO out of nowhere’

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If you have a pulse, you’ve probably heard of the viral “RKO” craze featuring WWE star Randy Orton and his signature finishing move. Dozens of Vine videos in and outside the sports world have been doctored to feature Orton delivering a flying “RKO out of nowhere,” and they are all hilarious.

On Saturday, Dundee FC’s Gary Harkins took it to a whole new level, acting out the RKO out of nowhere to celebrate Dundee’s second goal in a 3-1 win over Motherwell:

Amazing. 

For reference, here are some of the very best RKOs out of nowhere:

H/T FTW

Image provided by Getty

18
Oct

Bench collapse provides funniest team picture of all time

imageImage via Twitter/@teamthirtythree

Derry City were posing for their official team picture this past week when suddenly the bench in the first row collapsed. We all owe whoever was able to take a snapshot of the carnage a huge “Thank You.”

The second attempt went much more smoothly:

H/T Yahoo!Sports

17
Oct

Seeing yellow! Goalkeeper busted taking a leak during match

When you gotta go … you gotta go.

Such was the case for Excelsior ‘31 keeper Arjan Kok (no laughing!) in a match against CSV Apeldoorn. Apparently the net-minder has a pea-sized bladder, as he took it upon himself to do a little grass-watering behind the touchline during the match.

A quick-thinking spectator managed to record the end of the act, which drew a smattering of applause from the crowd. And, for what it’s worth, Excelsior ‘31 cruised to a 4-0 victory.

We’ll leave it to you to make your own urine-related jokes. Have at it!

(h/t 101GG)

16
Oct

FAIL! French U-21 defender teases opponents prematurely

Layvin Kurzawa (R), before it all went wrong. (Getty Image)

Remember that time in grade school when you were taught not to tease your peers or it would come back and bite you in the butt? That what goes around comes around?

So, apparently, France Under-21 defender Layvin Kurzawa didn’t learn that.

With his side down 3-2 on aggregate in their UEFA U-21 Championship qualifying playoff against Sweden, Kurzawa scored in the 89th minute to put the visitors up on away goals. Convinced that this goal would seal France’s spot in next summer’s tournament, the brash defender mockingly saluted several Swedes as he celebrated.

Big mistake.

Just one minute later, Oscar Lewicki responded with his second goal of the game to push Sweden through, 4-3 on aggregate, and boy did they let Kurzawa hear it after:

15
Oct

Mayor of London trips little kid while playing soccer

London Mayor Boris Johnson took part in a friendly kick-around with local schoolchildren on Wednesday, and almost made a mess of the whole affair after tripping up a little boy. Yikes!

Johnson has a history of cynical tackling. He once took down former Germany international Maurizio Gaudino in a 2006 charity match:

The lesson as always: Don’t let politicians play sports.

13
Oct

Brazilian winger celebrates goal he didn’t actually score

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Cruzeiro winger Nilton may want to stay off the internet for a couple days. There’s a good chance he’s the butt of every joke in Brazil right now.

Nilton thought he had scored his side’s equalizer during Sunday’s clash against Flamengo, but as you can see, his header actually sailed well over the net. That didn’t stop Nilton from turning away in short-lived ecstasy:

When you celebrate the goal you think you scored and everyone else is like… dude what are you doing:

H/T Pies

Image provided by Getty

12
Oct

Liechtenstein goalkeeper seals loss with huge howler

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Liechtenstein were aiming for a big upset result against Sweden in Euro 2016 Qualifying on Sunday, only to be outdone by a horrid mistake from  goalkeeper Cengiz Bicer.

Down by only a goal against the Group G favorites in the second half, Liechtenstein’s hopes at a shocking draw were still alive until Bicer whiffed on a clearance and opened the door for Jimmy Durmaz to put the game away.

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Image via Getty

9
Oct

One night only! Portland Timbers allow fans to root for rivals Seattle

By Kyle McCarthy 

Portland is in the middle of a tussle with Vancouver for the fifth and final playoff spot in the Western Conference. Every point matters as the season winds to a close.

The circumstances are so tense in Portland that Timbers fans might even need to do the unthinkable on Friday: root for their hated rivals from Seattle.

Luckily, club owner Merritt Paulson gave them permission.

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It isn’t by choice or design. Seattle hosts Vancouver in a potential six-pointer. If the Whitecaps somehow manage to collect all three points at CenturyLink Field, then they will leap over the Timbers in the standings.

So, for two hours, Timbers fans must swallow their pride and root for their bitter rivals, as difficult as it may be.

8
Oct

Radamel Falcao has a parrot who cheers him on for every goal

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Parrots are fun. Or annoying. It all depends how talkative — or not — your parrot is.

For instance, I grew up with a parrot. In over 12 years of training, our green little family monster managed to learn all of one word: “Hello.” Fascinating. Needless to say, we’ve given up on good old, ‘Freddy.’

Radamel Falcao has a parrot, too, and he’s way more of a chatter-box. In fact, ‘Coco’ cheers after every goal his owner scores, squawking “gol de Falca” and “golazo” over and over again.

Thanks to Colombian television, here is some footage to go with this important news story:

H/T WAATP