23
Sep

Some Americans still can’t recognize USA captain Clint Dempsey

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Every four years, the interest in the Beautiful Game grows exponentially across our great country for the World Cup. This summer, more Americans than ever before gathered at public viewing parties or skipped work to cheer on the red, white and blue in Brazil.

So you would think that our national team’s key stars would have gained a bit more celebrity status in the process.

Wrong.

Clint Dempsey - only our national team captain who sent the entire country in a frenzy after scoring on the USA’s VERY FIRST PLAY of the World Cup - walked about New York City the other day for ESPN and asked passers-by what they though of the national team, and, more specifically, about captain Clint Dempsey. The results will make you want to cry:

Really, guy #2?! You felt like the captain of the team should’ve been on the team? That doesn’t even make sense!

Best Saddest part of the video: Clint telling him his name at the end and he still can’t put two and two together.

H/T MLS

Image provided by Getty.

22
Sep

Fail! Chicago Fire honor “DeMarcus” Beasley

imageDaMarcus Beasley spent four and a half seaons with the Chicago Fire in the early 2000s, and after a ten-year absence from MLS was acquired by the Houston Dynamo this season.

Next Sunday will mark the first time Beasley faces his former team, and though the match is in Houston, the Fire wanted to show their appreciation for the U.S. national team veteran by flying some banners outside Toyota Park.

Unfortunately, it seems they forgot to double check their work:

Whoops!

22
Sep

Ex-Fulham manager Felix Magath believes in cheese as injury cure?

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Felix Magath’s reign at Fulham ended mercifully last week after leading the club to the bottom of the Championship table. And though the post-Magath era started with yet another loss over the weekend, you can still sense the giant wave of relief at Craven Cottage.

Since Wednesday, Magath has increasingly come under fire from former players who had fled Fulham after it became clear the German would stay despite not saving the club from relegation last season. Chief among them ex-captain Brede Hangeland, who according to Daniel Taylor’s column in the Guardian last week, was once told by Magath to treat a leg injury by - wait for it - rubbing a block of cheese onto the sore area!

Danny Murphy, a team-mate of Hangeland’s for almost five years and also a former Fulham captain, confirmed the bizarre story on the British Premier League review show “Match of the Day Extra.”

'I texted Brede to ask if it was true,' Murphy said, 'Brede told me it was, and that the cheese had to be soaked in alcohol, and that he was told to phone his mother because it would help to speak to someone who loves him while the cheese is working!'

'It's one of many ridiculous sad stories that we've heard about Felix that has ultimately cost him his job and put Fulham in a world of trouble because all the good and experienced players that were here were desperate to leave because of it and did,' Murphy said.

Woah.

Who knew alcohol-soaked cheese does not, in fact, heal leg injuries? You learn something new every day…

H/T Daily Mail

Image provided by Reuters

22
Sep

German player takes diving to a whole new level

imageIf they handed out a Golden Raspberry to the worst diver of the year, then Preußen Münster midfielder Benjamin Siegert would win 2014’s award in a landslide.

As if his initial dive against Sonnenhof Großapach wasn’t already terrible enough this weekend, Siegert upped the ante for the Ashley Youngs of the world with a truly ridiculous break-dance move at the end, miraculously jumping up from the ground before writhing in agony one more time: Truly horrific stuff. No wonder this guy plays in the third division. He’s clearly got to work on his play-acting skills if he wants to make it to the top!

H/T Reddit

Image provided by Getty

21
Sep

Mario Balotelli trolls Manchester United after latest loss

imageOne way to immediately win over the hearts of Liverpool fans far and wide is to make fun of bitter rivals Manchester United at every opportunity.

New Reds striker Mario Balotelli is off to a strong start, tweeting this after United’s shocking 5-3 loss at Leicester City on Sunday:

Good one, Mario.

Of course, the dig at the Red Devils would’ve had a little more sting had Liverpool not lost this weekend as well!

Image provided by Reuters

20
Sep

Emile Heskey CAN actually hit a cow’s arse with a banjo

There’s never been a shortage of jokes about former England international Emile Heskey. But the long-standing and most heard was a quip about a cow’s arse and a banjo.

Basically, that he couldn’t hit one with the other.

There are many claims that have been made about Heskey, but this one, it turns out, isn’t true.

Finally, that line can be retired.

(H/T Daily Mail)

18
Sep

Brazilian team’s player disappears into a hole in the ground after scoring

Can’t say we’ve seen this happen before: In a move that would make Lance Burton proud, Coritiba striker Joel literally vanished during a match against Sao Paulo. And it wasn’t in the sense that strikers often disappear against opposition.

No, Joel launched over advertising hoardings after scoring a delightful little goal, but didn’t find solid ground on the other end. Instead, Joel fell into a hole that was inauspiciously hidden behind the hoardings.

A steward even tried to stop Joel from making his ill-fated leap, but to no avail. The steward and a few teammates managed to get Joel out, and despite looking understandably shaken up by the ordeal, the player finished out the game.

And on the bright side, he ended his evening with two goals in Coritiba’s 3-1 win against Sao Paulo.

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Just remember to look before you leap, Joel!

(h/t Guardian, Image: Getty)

17
Sep

Arsenal’s Lukas Podolski can’t find his shinguards

This about sums up Arsenal’s performance in Dortmund on Tuesday: Lukas Podolski couldn’t find his shinguards after being told to come on as a second-half substitute:

Luckily, Mesut Ozil eventually loaned Podolski his.

It was Ozil’s best assist of the evening.

H/T OffThePost

16
Sep

Thailand’s women’s national team gets cash bonus for losing ‘only’ 5-0

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Thailand’s women’s national team lost 5-0 to South Korea in their Asia Games opener this weekend, a pretty discouraging way to open the tournament. Unless, of course, if you’re on the team.

Believe it or not, the Thailand FA awarded each player a bonus of 100,000 Thai baht ($6,200) for only losing 5-0. We kid you not.

"We fared better in the second half," the FA president told the Nation newspaper. “The association had planned to give the team 200,000 baht ($6,200) if they won the match, but, for the players’ efforts, we decided to hand them 100,000 as consolation.”

Um, where can we sign up for a roster spot?

In America, we often hear complaints over giving out participation trophies at youth tournaments. This is a little worse, don’t you think?

H/T SBNation (Pic: Stanley Chou)

15
Sep

Thomas Vermaelen has difficulty getting into Barcelona car park

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Amused by famous people suffering through real-world problems?

Then you’ll love new Barcelona defender Thomas Vermaelen having some serious issues getting his Audi into the club’s car park:

Good thing Vermalen had about five different guys instructing him with violent hand gestures and dozens of fans egging him on. I’m sure that calmed his nerves.

The whole ordeal took about two minutes, but the former Arsenal man finally did get his Audi into the park without a scratch. 

Now you only have to do that, what, 200 more times this season? Good luck, bud!

Image provided by Reuters

(H/T Who Ate All The Pies)