Betis defender makes pair of costly mistakes, quits before halftime

imageImage: Sergio Barrenechea/EPA

Sometimes, it just all becomes too much to take. For Real Betis defender Paulão, this was one of those times.

The Brazilian center back asked to be taken off the pitch barely a half hour into Betis’ match against Rayo Vallecano after he made two disastrous mistakes that both led to goals, and which all but crushed his team’s final hopes of staving off relegation. (Betis went on to lose to Rayo by that very two-goal margin, and with the club ten points from safety and just four games remaining, their fate is all but mathematically sealed.)

Paulão set up the first goal of the game in the 14th minute with an astoundingly weak back-pass to his goalkeeper, which Rayo’s Ruben Rochina easily intercepted and slotted home. Ouch! Thirteen minutes later, Paulão scored an own goal when his sliding clearance attempt went awry. Double ouch.

His two mistakes were so bad, even Rayo captain Roberto Trashorras went over to help Paulão off the ground and offer his condolences. But in spite of everyone’s pity and support, the imposing defender had reached his breaking point and wished to be substituted right then and there. His manager obliged, and Paulão spent the rest of the afternoon in tears on the end of the bench. Poor fella.

H/T The Guardian


Freiburg keeper achieves rare hat-trick of howlers


Dazed and confused: Baumann can’t believe his own performance (Image: Getty)

Being a goalkeeper is a tough gig. Either you’re the hero, or the zero.

In Oliver Baumann’s case, it was clearly the latter on Sunday. Though Freiburg lost 3-0 to Hamburg — a scoreline that would indicate thorough domination by the away side — it was Baumann who practically determined the outcome by himself, committing three gruesome errors that lead to all three goals.


Perhaps Baumann was just in the Halloween mood and tricked all the home supporters? Because that’s some scary-bad goalkeeping.

Baumann, Freiburg’s captain and actually one of the better goalkeepers in the Bundesliga last season, will want to erase this game from his memory as soon as possible. He should expect, however, to be tested with a lot more long balls for the rest of the season!


Viktoria Plzen keeper gifts goal to CSKA Moscow in brutal fashion

Oh man, that hurts.

Wednesday’s early Champions League tilt between Viktoria Plzen and CSKA Moscow offered a truly shoddy display of goalkeeping by Plzen netminder Matus Kozacik.

CSKA Moscow mounted an attack after a turnover by Plzen in midfield, but Radim Reznik seemingly snuffed out the chance with a back pass to Kozacik.

Unfortunately for Kozacik, he forgot to actually control the pass, and the ball trickled into his own goal to make the score 3-1 in CSKA’s favor. What an absolute howler.

To make matters worse, Plzen managed to scrape another goal in stoppage time, which conceivably would have given them a draw in the contest.

But alas, they’ll be resigned to remember the time their keeper thought he was stopping a beach ball instead of a soccer ball.


Freiburg shows how to best lose a 2-goal lead


It’s a well-known concept in soccer that there is no lead more dangerous than 2-0. Teams tend to play more conservative with a two-goal lead, which often makes them more prone to mental errors that end up shifting the momentum in the opposition’s favor. If you need any more proof to this theory, allow Bundesliga side SC Freiburg to demonstrate.

Freiburg held a 2-0 lead over Slovan Liberec in their Europa League opener on Thursday before completely falling apart in the second half. First, goalkeeper Oliver Baumann produced this awful howler to help Liberec get on the comeback trail:

Less than ten minutes later, Admir Mehmedi’s brain fart wiped out Freiburg’s lead for good:


Freiburg wasn’t done trying to self-combust, either. Karim Guede was sent off after committing a downright bone-headed handball in the 77th minute, exactly three minutes after getting his first booking for, you guessed it, another bone-headed handball.

The Germans did hold on to the draw, but after looking a sure bet to secure a comfortable home win to kick off its European campaign, none of Freiburg’s players must have found much consolation in the point.

Let this be a lesson to all!


Goalkeeper commits awful time-wasting error to spoil victory

South African Premier League side AmaZulu FC was leading their Johannesburg rivals Bidvest Wits 1-0 in the 92nd minute, ere Tapuwa Kapini committed a goalkeeper’s cardinal sin and wasted AmaZulu’s chance to go top of the table.

Attempting to run down some clock, Kapini took the ball from outside his area and tried to dribble back towards his own net. Next thing he knew, he fell to the ground and fumbled the ball straight to an opponent, who tapped in the goal for the last-minute equalizer. Not exactly the greatest way to endear yourself to fans in a local derby.

Hmm, where have we seen this before?

Oh, right:

Sorry Juan Flores, we had to.

(H/T Dirty Tackle)


Goalkeeper of world’s unluckiest team charged with biting man’s ear off

Somehow, it’s gotten even worse for the running slapstick comedy known as Peruvian side Union Comercio.

Goalkeeper Juan “Chiquito” Flores has received a three-year suspended prison sentence for being found guilty of biting a man’s ear off in a nightclub last year. Flores will also have to pay 10,000 Peruvian Nuevo Sol (around $3,550) in damages to his victim.

If you recall, the Mike Tyson imitator in question is the same “Chiquito” who was found guilty of this colossal fail last month:

Although we would miss Flores and his knack for providing us with fantastic content, perhaps Union would be better off without him? Just saying.

Peruvian side Union Comercio has been featured on this blog fairly often recently, and those who read us regularly know that can’t be a good thing.

Union has provided bloggers everywhere with a continuous stream of mind-numbing fails all summer (such as the ones above), and unsurprisingly, the club currently sit rock bottom of the Peruvian Primera Division with relegation a distinct possibility.

At least, with the Peruvian league set to finish in December, that still gives us a bit over three more months of Union Comercio follies. We can’t wait to see what Flores and Co. come up with next:

(Image courtesy of Raul Sifuentes/LatinContent/Getty Images)


Peruvian club’s comedy of errors continues with superb own goal

Peruvian top flight side Union Comercio may not be top flight for much longer, at least as long as they continue to gift their opponents goals week after week.

In yesterday’s match against Universitario, Union defender Renzo Reaños scored this fantastic golazo into his own net to hand the visitors a 1-0 victory. It was Union’s fourth loss in a row, after which Reaños felt compelled to apologize on Twitter for his match-“winner.”

Reaños said “I feel very bad. It was my fault we lost today. I want to say sorry to my team mates and to all the people of Union.”

This, of course, come just one week after goalkeeper Juan “Chiquito” Flores provided us with the howler of the year:

With Union doing more than half the work for their opponents recently, it might not surprise you that the club is in second to last place in the Primera Division, sitting on just 26 point out of 29 games.


Archer’s arrow off course in heavy Scotland defeat

Jordan Archer is beginning to establish himself as one of the unluckiest goalkeepers in the world. It was Archer that was attacked by an idiotic Gillingham supporter during Wycombe’s 1-0 win at Priestfield in February.

That assault was clearly not his fault but he was certainly to blame for one of England Under-21s’ goals in a 6-0 victory against their Scotland counterparts on Tuesday night.

Scotland were already trailing 2-0 at Bramall Lane in Sheffield when Archer attempted to clear the ball from out of his hands with, er, limited success. To be fair Connor Wickham pounced on the chance with a great finish to compound Scotland’s misery. 


Two for one! The weekend’s best goalkeeper fails


Chelsea back-up Mark Schwarzer had himself a senior moment in the club’s friendly against Roma on Saturday, allowing the softest of goals to hand Roma an opening lead. Now, goalkeepers are not known for their nimble footwork, but how can you mess up like this:

That was bad, but could it possibly be worse than this next clip?

Over in Peru, Unión Comercio’s Juan Flores tried to act super cool and ended up looking very dumb after this colossal fail just six minutes into a match against Sporting Cristal:

Do we even need to ask which one is worse?