19
Jul

Diego Valeri scores stunning goal for Portland Timbers

It’s been a tough year for the Portland Timbers. They’ve only won twice at home this season — one of which came last night. 

Portland had to come back after going down a goal early, but fought all the way back, with Diego Valeri sealing it in the 77th with this ridiculous strike.

Wait for the second angle. It gets even better than the first.

Even if the Timbers can’t manage to pull themselves into a playoff spot, this goal will live on highlight reels for quite some time.

18
Jul

Terrence Boyd has sweet debut with RB Leipzig, impresses Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Sure, it was just a friendly in pre-season. But we’re pretty sure USA striker Terrence Boyd won’t forget this match for a while.

First of all, he scored his first goal for RB Leipzig in his debut with the club. Oh, and it was against Zlatan Ibrahimovic and PSG:

Not only did Boyd get his name on the scoresheet in his first match for his new club, he got one of the most coveted possessions in the world: Zlatan’s game-worn jersey.

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Special moment: PSG’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic gives Terrence Boyd his kit at halftime. (Photo: Getty Images).

Just look at his teammate’s face, he can’t hide his jealousy. Terrence, make sure you keep that magical piece of cloth under lock and key.

7
Jun

Jozy Altidore finally breaks his scoring drought, right in time for World Cup

It’s been a long, frustrating six months for Jozy Altidore. The USA and Sunderland striker hadn’t scored since December 4th, 2013.

With the World Cup just around the corner, Altidore was in desperate need of a goal to get the weight off of his shoulders. Finally, in the USA’s final tune-up match before leaving for Brazil, he broke through:

Sure, it wasn’t anything particularly special from Altidore — the build-up from his teammates was far more impressive — but at this point, even the simple tap-in will do the American striker.

Now Altidore can head to the World Cup without the scoring drought hanging over his head — but the pressure to score in Brazil will certainly still be there.

UPDATE: Jozy scored again. It was much, much prettier this time.

19
May

River Plate veteran’s first goal for the club is a golazo

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It’s the final day of your club’s league and you need a win to clinch the title. There’s no better time to score your first goal, is there?

Not many players find themselves in that situation, but 35-year-old River Plate veteran Cristian Ledesma did on Sunday. Now, it wasn’t the only goal scored in the match – River beat Quilmes 5-0 to snag the title – but it was certainly the most impressive. In his third stint with the club (first signed in 1999), Ledesma finally broke through with this rocket from distance.

It may be the midfielder’s first (and possibly only) goal he scores for River, but it’s certainly one he won’t forget.

Especially since he got to cap the night off like this:

imageImages: Getty

(H/T 101GG)

9
May

You have to see this half-field volley from the Singapore league

Wayne Rooney, you’ve got some competition.

It comes in the form of a player in the S.League, Fabian Kwok. The goalkeeper on the opposing team clears the ball right to the Geylang International FC midfielder. We can only imagine what his coach thought of what happened next.

Fabian, what are you doing? You can’t score from there. That’s silly. Stop that. Just settle it and find a teammate.

You’re shooting it? What are you doing?! YOU WON’T SCOR…

…OH MY GOD IT WENT IN.

Feel free to watch this a few times to really let it sink in. We did.

25
Feb

50-yard rainbow shot somehow goes in!

The goal is from Friday night, but we would be amiss not to show it to you anyways.

Rogelio Chavez scored a goal on one of the most speculative efforts we’ve ever seen, lobbing it over Queretaro’s Edgar Hernandez with a rainbow shot from the halfway line. It looked like the ball had a better chance of landing on the moon than in the back of the net at first, but that’s exactly what happened. You could say he struck a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. (I’ll see myself out). The miracle goal was Chavez’s second of the day and made it 3-1 to Cruz Azul, as the Liga MX leaders remained undefeated on the season.

Let this be a friendly reminder to all goalkeepers out there: always expect the unexpected.

H/T Dirty Tackle

22
Feb

Hamburg player serves up wicked knuckleball goal

Hamburg haven’t had many reasons to smile this season — they sit in 16th in the Bundesliga — but were given several in their 3-0 win over Borussia Dortmund today.

In particular, this insane knuckling shot from Hakan Calhanoglu in stoppage time put the icing on the very tasty cake.

Jurgen Klopp’s reaction says it all. Even he can’t be mad at that.

H/T SB Nation Soccer

1
May

If David Alaba is not the best left back in the world right now, he’s surely well on his way. His gorgeous pass to Arjen Robben set up Bayern Munich’s first goal of the night against Barcelona at Camp Nou. Of course, it also helps that the ball landed at the feet of Robben, another man on a long list of Bayern’s world class players.

Robben’s goal was just the start of the German club’s crushing performance in Barca’s stadium. The 3-0 scoreline silenced tens of thousands of fans and sent them home bitterly disappointed as their side went out with a whimper, losing 7-0 across both legs.

But don’t forget, Barcelona is team full of world class players too, even without Lionel Messi. Look at Xavi, Andres Iniesta and Cesc Fabregas — they’re still one of the best teams in the world. This two-legged affair was more about Bayern being an absolute dominant force than it was Barca failing to even get on the score sheet.

However, any way you slice it, this is going to sting for a while in Spain.

If you want to witness the demolition, be sure to check out the match report with full highlights. If you’re a Barca fan, you may just want to look away: