18
Apr

Gareth Bale issued speeding ticket for brilliant solo goal

The local police in Valencia have quite the sense of humor. After Gareth Bale score his absurdly amazing solo goal to give Real Madrid the Copa del Rey trophy, the cops issued him a fake but totally hilarious speeding ticket.

Well played, Valencia cops.

Not only that, but there’s some great humor in the details as well.

       image 

Registration: 11
Class: Much
Scores: and assists
Model: Not at the moment

And because you know you want to watch it again, the goal that prompted the clever ticket:

H/T r/soccer

15
Apr

Man City’s Emyr Huws strikes stunning long-distance goal for Birmingham

Man City’s Emyr Huws was taking a corner kick for his loan club Birmingham City when the ball was headed back out to him far up the sideline.

After getting away from one Middlesbrough defender, Huws had all the time in the world to figure out his next move.

With nobody else in any hurry to close him down, Huws could:

A) Send it back into the mixer, hoping a teammate could meet his cross for a header
B) Safely pass it to a teammate
C) Unleash a speculative effort from a good 30+ yards out.

Huws went with Option C.

11
Apr

Benjamin Aguero Maradona is already living up to his name

Things that most five-year-old kids are learning to do:

1) Tie their shoes

2) Share toys

3) Count to 10

4) Draw fridge art

5) Ride a tricycle

But not if your father is Sergio Aguero and your grandfather is Diego Maradona. No, instead, at age five you are learning to score golazos.

It’s probably too early to tell, but young Benjamin might have a future doing this soccer thing. Let the bidding begin!

(H/T SB Nation)

8
Apr

Fourth division player scores Diego Maradona-esque solo goal

You probably haven’t heard of Quique Cubas, but you don’t need to know him to appreciate this amazing goal.

Cubas, a player for regional side Arosa S.C., made five opponents (including the goalkeeper) look absolutely silly en route to one of the best solo efforts since Diego Maradona’s spectacular goal versus England in the 1986 World Cup.

H/T 101GG

31
Mar

Japanese striker scores screamer from beyond midfield

Usually players that try to score from midfield end up looking very silly (either that, or they’re Wayne Rooney).

When FK Sutjeska forward Masato Fukui launched this outrageous attempt from well beyond midfield, it took a little touch of luck along with skill to score it.

Instead of Fukui looking like a fool, the Mladost goalkeeper was the one left embarrassed. Good luck living that one down.

(H/T WAATP)

28
Mar

Seydou Keita scores fastest goal in La Liga history


Other than recording a Vine video, 7.6 seconds is enough time to do… barely anything. Usain Bolt can’t sprint 100 meters in that time, nor can competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut eat even a single hot dog that fast (it takes him nine seconds).

However, that’s all the time Valencia’s Seydou Keita needed to score the fastest goal in La Liga history against Almeria.

Incredibly, Almeria was the side kicking off on Thursday night, but Keita profited from a truly terribly back-pass to the goalkeeper and pounced for the goal. With the strike, Keita beat out previous record-holder Joseba Llorente, who scored in 7.8 seconds for Valladolid in January 2008.

Not only was Keita’s goal the quickest ever in the Primera Division, it was also his first for the club. However, it wasn’t a perfect evening for the Mali international. Almeria woke up after the blitz attack and came back to earn a 2-2 draw.

26
Mar

Torino’s Ciro Immobile scores volley of the year

Who isn’t a fan of volleys?

Oh, you aren’t? Well, then this video is not for you:

Torino striker Ciro Immobile scored an improbable goal against Roma on Tuesday that will have you questioning gravity and physics and all that nonsense. It also proves not to judge a player by his last name.

Immobile one-timed a high-arching pass from midfield and smashed it perfectly past Roma goalkeeper Morgan De Sanctis for the golazo, which brought back memories Antonio Di Natale’s masterpiece a year ago:

Since that epicness, all volleys have been judged against “the Di Natale.” But after Tuesday, we may have to make “the Immobile” the new high-water mark, even if it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

23
Mar

Loaned-out Man United forward scores superb volley

Manchester United disappointment Bebe has been anything but on his loan to Portuguese side Paços de Ferreira. He scored a breathtaking goal — one of several this season — that may give David Moyes something to think about as he tinkers with his roster for next season.

The talented 23-year-old Portuguese back-heel flicked the ball over his head and volleyed home against FC Arouca for a golazo that will surely be added to Bebe’s highlight reel.

H/T r/soccer