18
Apr

Gareth Bale issued speeding ticket for brilliant solo goal

The local police in Valencia have quite the sense of humor. After Gareth Bale score his absurdly amazing solo goal to give Real Madrid the Copa del Rey trophy, the cops issued him a fake but totally hilarious speeding ticket.

Well played, Valencia cops.

Not only that, but there’s some great humor in the details as well.

       image 

Registration: 11
Class: Much
Scores: and assists
Model: Not at the moment

And because you know you want to watch it again, the goal that prompted the clever ticket:

H/T r/soccer

15
Apr

Man City’s Emyr Huws strikes stunning long-distance goal for Birmingham

Man City’s Emyr Huws was taking a corner kick for his loan club Birmingham City when the ball was headed back out to him far up the sideline.

After getting away from one Middlesbrough defender, Huws had all the time in the world to figure out his next move.

With nobody else in any hurry to close him down, Huws could:

A) Send it back into the mixer, hoping a teammate could meet his cross for a header
B) Safely pass it to a teammate
C) Unleash a speculative effort from a good 30+ yards out.

Huws went with Option C.

8
Apr

Fourth division player scores Diego Maradona-esque solo goal

You probably haven’t heard of Quique Cubas, but you don’t need to know him to appreciate this amazing goal.

Cubas, a player for regional side Arosa S.C., made five opponents (including the goalkeeper) look absolutely silly en route to one of the best solo efforts since Diego Maradona’s spectacular goal versus England in the 1986 World Cup.

H/T 101GG

31
Mar

Japanese striker scores screamer from beyond midfield

Usually players that try to score from midfield end up looking very silly (either that, or they’re Wayne Rooney).

When FK Sutjeska forward Masato Fukui launched this outrageous attempt from well beyond midfield, it took a little touch of luck along with skill to score it.

Instead of Fukui looking like a fool, the Mladost goalkeeper was the one left embarrassed. Good luck living that one down.

(H/T WAATP)

28
Mar

Seydou Keita scores fastest goal in La Liga history


Other than recording a Vine video, 7.6 seconds is enough time to do… barely anything. Usain Bolt can’t sprint 100 meters in that time, nor can competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut eat even a single hot dog that fast (it takes him nine seconds).

However, that’s all the time Valencia’s Seydou Keita needed to score the fastest goal in La Liga history against Almeria.

Incredibly, Almeria was the side kicking off on Thursday night, but Keita profited from a truly terribly back-pass to the goalkeeper and pounced for the goal. With the strike, Keita beat out previous record-holder Joseba Llorente, who scored in 7.8 seconds for Valladolid in January 2008.

Not only was Keita’s goal the quickest ever in the Primera Division, it was also his first for the club. However, it wasn’t a perfect evening for the Mali international. Almeria woke up after the blitz attack and came back to earn a 2-2 draw.

26
Mar

Torino’s Ciro Immobile scores volley of the year

Who isn’t a fan of volleys?

Oh, you aren’t? Well, then this video is not for you:

Torino striker Ciro Immobile scored an improbable goal against Roma on Tuesday that will have you questioning gravity and physics and all that nonsense. It also proves not to judge a player by his last name.

Immobile one-timed a high-arching pass from midfield and smashed it perfectly past Roma goalkeeper Morgan De Sanctis for the golazo, which brought back memories Antonio Di Natale’s masterpiece a year ago:

Since that epicness, all volleys have been judged against “the Di Natale.” But after Tuesday, we may have to make “the Immobile” the new high-water mark, even if it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

23
Mar

Loaned-out Man United forward scores superb volley

Manchester United disappointment Bebe has been anything but on his loan to Portuguese side Paços de Ferreira. He scored a breathtaking goal — one of several this season — that may give David Moyes something to think about as he tinkers with his roster for next season.

The talented 23-year-old Portuguese back-heel flicked the ball over his head and volleyed home against FC Arouca for a golazo that will surely be added to Bebe’s highlight reel.

H/T r/soccer

23
Mar

Lionel Messi becomes Clasico’s all-time top scorer in Barcelona win

image

Lionel Messi scored a hat trick to lead Barcelona to a 4-3 win at Real Madrid on Sunday, becoming the rivalry’s all-time leading scorer with 21 goals in the process. Before his hatter, which included two penalties, Messi was tied with Real Madrid legend Alfredo Di Stefano on 18 goals. And if you’re wondering (you are), Cristiano Ronaldo also scored on Sunday and currently has 13 ‘Clasico’ goals.

Messi also passed Hugo Sanchez for second place in La Liga’s all-time scoring charts (he now has 235 goals) with the hat trick, and notched yet another historical first:

The goal that broke Di Stefano’s mark, Messi’s first of the day, was a classic Barcelona tiki-taka masterpiece. Watch it below:

23
Mar

Estonian team follows up goal with the best bowling celebration we’ve seen

Nomme Kalju’s Hidetoshi Wakui provided the new frontrunner for goal celebration of the season after using the pitch as his own private bowling alley.

Upon scoring in the Tallinn derby against FC Flora, Wakui retrieved the ball and immediately ran over to the touchline, with his teammates in tow. The goalscorer then threw a perfect strike with the Brazuca, knocking down all of his teammates bowling pins.

Great form, too!

H/T Dirty Tackle

22
Mar

Beckhamesque! Wayne Rooney scores from halfway line

imageImages: Reuters

Wayne Rooney makes $500,000 a week for Manchester United, which would normally infuriate every single one of us. But on this weekend, he’s worth every penny of that sum. Why do we say that?

Because look at this goal, that’s why:

Simply stunning.

Rooney’s half-volley rocket from about the halfway line gave United an early, thunderous 1-0 lead over West Ham, and David Moyes a rare reason to jump up off his bench in ecstasy. On the other side, poor Hammers keeper Adrian could only tumble to the ground helplessly as the ball swerved up and over him.

Good thing David Beckham was sitting down. The United legend was in attendance with his sons, clearly impressed by what he just witnessed:

imageImage via: @geniusfootball

Beckham, of course, knows a thing or two about scoring long-range golazos. He smashed one in from a similar spot as Rooney seventeen and a half years ago, against Wimbledon:

So, whose is better?

Sky Sports (h/t BBC Sport) asked Rooney himself if his goal was better than Beckham’s, to which the Rooney replied: “Of course, yeah!”

"It was just instinct," Rooney added. "I turned, had a quick look and saw the keeper off the line. I’ve tried it many times and thankfully it went in."