20
Sep

Emile Heskey CAN actually hit a cow’s arse with a banjo

There’s never been a shortage of jokes about former England international Emile Heskey. But the long-standing and most heard was a quip about a cow’s arse and a banjo.

Basically, that he couldn’t hit one with the other.

There are many claims that have been made about Heskey, but this one, it turns out, isn’t true.

Finally, that line can be retired.

(H/T Daily Mail)

15
Sep

Thomas Vermaelen has difficulty getting into Barcelona car park

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Amused by famous people suffering through real-world problems?

Then you’ll love new Barcelona defender Thomas Vermaelen having some serious issues getting his Audi into the club’s car park:

Good thing Vermalen had about five different guys instructing him with violent hand gestures and dozens of fans egging him on. I’m sure that calmed his nerves.

The whole ordeal took about two minutes, but the former Arsenal man finally did get his Audi into the park without a scratch. 

Now you only have to do that, what, 200 more times this season? Good luck, bud!

Image provided by Reuters

(H/T Who Ate All The Pies)

10
Sep

Sprinklers shower TV commentators before Switzerland-England match

The world got a front row seat to the hazards of touchline reporting earlier this week, and it didn’t disappoint.

ITV commentators Lee Dixon, Ian Wright, Glen Hoddle and Adrian Chiles were analyzing England’s game plan prior to the Three Lions’ 2-0 victory against Switzerland at St. Jakob-Park in Euro 2016 qualifying. Then, unexpectedly, the sprinklers were turned on and showered the English pundits on live television before the match:

Splash!

We understand the importance of gamesmanship. We just didn’t know that it applied to members of the media as well.

H/T NESN

16
Aug

Real Madrid full-kit pitch invader tries to blend in on corner kick

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This is Cristiano Ronaldo. He played and scored against Fiorentina in Real Madrid’s 2-1 friendly loss on Saturday. He was subbed off at halftime, but somehow ‘Cristiano Ronaldo’ magically appeared back on the pitch in the 75th minute.

Okay, clearly that is not the Cristiano Ronaldo. It is a fan who thought himself clever by wearing a full kit, invading the pitch and trying to blend in on a Fiorentina corner kick. It actually worked pretty well as no one seemed to know what was going on or what to do.

He was pretty much was given free rein to walk wherever he pleased.

Security? Anybody? No? Okay then. Well played, sir.

15
Aug

Jack Wilshere trolls birthday boy Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to perfection

Arsenal youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain celebrated his birthday on Friday, blowing out 21 candles (we assume) on his birthday cake.

Oxlade-Chamberlain’s teammate, Jack Wilshere, however, took the cake when it came to saying, “Happy birthday.”

Wilshere posted a photo on Instagram with the caption, “Happy birthday to my boy @alexoxchamberlain.” The only hook? Wilshere used a photo of fellow Gunner Kieran Gibbs.

This all goes back to a game last season in March, when Oxlade-Chamberlain handled a ball inside the area against Chelsea. The referee, Andre Marriner, rightly showed a red for the infringement, but accidentally sent off Gibbs instead of Oxlade-Chamberlain.

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Oops! Andre Marriner mistakenly sends off Kieran Gibbs during a Premier League match against Chelsea last season (Photo: Getty Images).

Kudos to Wilshere for pulling this little gem.

Curious, though, that he’d want to dig up a game where Arsenal were blown out to the tune of 6-0.

Oh, well. Happy birthday, Ox!

23
Jul

Cristiano Ronaldo joins Japanese TV show, hilarity ensues

Cristiano Ronaldo is about as straight-laced as professional athletes get. His work ethic is the stuff of legend, and rarely is he seen goofing off when there are trophies to be won.

So, popping the Portuguese star on a zany Japanese TV show was a recipe for awesomeness. Right from the start the Real Madrid talisman appears uncomfortable, with fog machines, crazy lights and a mob of fans that seem just a bit too close.

Of course, Ronaldo is then given a bouquet of flowers with which he has no idea what to do with, and a life-size photo of him shirtless and flexing is subsequently walked out onto the stage.

The highlight of the entire spectacle comes at the 2:25 mark in the video, where one of the hosts tries out the “facial fitness” product Ronaldo has brought around. It’s tremendous to watch by itself, but even better in GIF form:

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CR7’s reaction says it all. Hilarious!

(h/t 101GG)

19
Jul

Liga MX is back and already providing wacky entertainment

Anyone that watches Liga MX knows that crazy things happen all the time, and today’s match between Leon and America was no exception. The Apertura is barely underway, and Leon goalkeeper William Yarbrough has put himself in the running for blunder of the season with this one:

From the slip to holding the ball out to chucking it back over the line, this is golden material for a soccer blooper reel. 

The only question is why did he hold on? WHY? Put it over the bar, punch it out — anything but exactly what he did would’ve worked out just fine.

16
Jun

Landon Donovan definitely knows how to laugh at himself

You’re probably sick of hearing about Landon Donovan not making the USA’s World Cup team, but this ad is worth just one more mention of it.

Instead of Donovan sporting red, white and blue this summer, we get Landon in his bathrobe, slippers, moping around his apartment while playing as himself on FIFA.

Oh, and make sure you watch it all the way to the end.

That’s got to be one of the best eye-rolls ever.

He may not be going to Brazil, but at least Landon can still give American fans something to smile about.

7
Jun

This is what happens when fair play goes horribly wrong

It’s common practice for a team to kick the ball out of bounds when an opponent is injured, and then for an opposing player to return it to them. They teach that to you when you’re a kid: play fair. 

It’s usually a straight-forward event, and the match continues without further incident.

But sometimes this courteous gesture goes, horribly, terribly wrong:

And because this happened in the 90th minute of the match, Polonia Warsaw wasn’t able to continue the fair play tradition and walk the ball back into their own net (though, to be fair, it wasn’t really their fault the keeper was daydreaming).

Welcome to the blooper reel, Blekitni Gabin goalkeeper. You’ll be on it forever.

(H/T SB Nation)

7
Jun

Zidane, Beckham take on Bale and Moura in “Beckingham Palace”

When you were a kid, your parents probably often told you to never play sports indoors. "You’ll break a window!"

Well apparently David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Gareth Bale and Lucas Moura weren’t very good listeners:

Broken trophy case? No big deal. Expensive chandelier? Eh, it’s replaceable. Beating the young stars? So worth the damage price tag.