17
Apr

USA defender John Anthony Brooks benched due to giant back tattoo

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Getting tattoos is all fun and games until you can’t do your job.

According to the Berliner Morgenpost, United States men’s national team defender John Anthony Brooks was benched by Bundesliga club Hertha BSC Berlin last weekend after Brooks got himself a “large-scale” back tattoo, which hence has prevented him from being able to play comfortably.

Of course. 

As tattoo-lovers know, for several days following the procedure, one is advised to avoid intense physical activity, tight-fitting clothing, and sweaty conditions, among other things.

In hindsight, as a professional athlete Brooks should probably have known better than to get ink done in the middle of the season.

Understandably, Hertha coach Jos Luhukay was not pleased:

"I don’t have any understanding for that. The tattoo could lead to an inflammation, and, naturally, that is not good," Luhukay told the paper.

Nope, not good. Next time, wait until after the season, John.

(H/T SBNation)

Image provide by Getty.

15
Apr

Levante’s revolutionary “twin free-kick” routine fails miserably

Just like they drew it up!

Levante found themselves down 1-0 to Villareal in the final minutes of stoppage time this past Saturday when the perfect chance for a late equalizer presented itself - a free kick roughly 20 yards out from goal. But rather than attempting a straightforward, direct free kick with a point on the line, Levante’s Victor Casadesus and Ruben Garcia decided this was the perfect opportunity to try out a cunning, new playground routine.

Both players ran up to the ball simultaneously looking to deceive the wall and goalkeeper, which sounds like a good idea. But apparently they failed to tell each other who was supposed to actually kick the ball, and so they both did, resulting in this miserable fail (not to mention zero points for Levante.)

Communication is key, lads.

H/T Pies

26
Mar

Defender needs two attempts to score epic own goal

One day, Nautico defender Izaldo will tell his grandchildren about this and have a laugh. Maybe. It could take a while.

Facing off against Santa Cruz in the Brazilian Pernambucano 1 last weekend, Izaldo scored one of the most hilarious own goals of all time. Not necessarily because it was a spectacular shot, but because he needed two separate attempts to do so!

First, the defender shanked an attempted clearance straight off the crossbar and back into play, to the relief of his teammates. But did that discourage Izaldo from getting on the score-sheet? Oh no, not Izaldo. 

Demonstrating the determination and persistence of an ant, Izaldo went right back at it and pounced on the very next chance, heading it safely into the back of his own net.

If at first you don’t succeed…

25
Mar

Is this the worst penalty attempt ever?

When the Panenka penalty is done right, it’s a thing of beauty. A seemingly effortless flick of the boot that floats into the back of the net whilst the keeper dives aside.

When the Panenka penalty is done wrong, it’s also a thing of beauty — but for an entirely different reason.

Behold, in an amateur match between Swords Celtic and Lorcan Celtic, as Swords forward Mark O’Brien gives this bit of skill a whirl to disastrous effect.

With his side already up 4-0, O’Brien walks up to the spot and dinks a ball with about as much force as a kitten sneeze. It one-hops right into the arms of the Lorcan keeper, who remained statuesque in goal.

Of course, now that the clip has hit the internet, O’Brien has opted for some damage control. He took to Twitter to claim his teammate won the penalty on a dive, so O’Brien muffed the penalty on purpose in a show of sportsmanship.

Hmm, not sure we’re convinced.

(h/t Pies)

17
Mar

Italian team displays ultimate show of sportsmanship

It’s common practice for teams to return the ball back to their opponent after an injury stops the run of play. Usually, it’s a pretty straight-forward process.

But in this Italian Serie D match between Fersina Perginese and Dro Calcio, things didn’t go according to plan:

Our only complaint is that the goalkeeper who made the disastrous blunder didn’t take the ball up the other end to score. Luckily for him, the match ended in a 3-3 draw and he wasn’t responsible for a loss — though the fans may not be so forgiving.

H/T WAATP

3
Mar

Hoffenheim mascot’s head falls off during celebration

imageImage: Getty

Hoffenheim had plenty to smile about this weekend after putting six goals past Wolfsburg, but there was one giant buzz kill: Hoffi the Moose, the team’s mascot, literally lost its head while celebrating one of the goals.

After Anthony Modeste made it 4-1 Hoffenheim just before halftime, Hoffi sprinted over to celebrate with the players but clumsily tripped over the advertising board, causing his head to fall off. Every child in attendance immediately had their perception of reality crushed to a pulp.

Watch the tragic incident below:

H/T: Pies

27
Feb

Sydney Leroux attempts ‘Happy Gilmore’ golf swing, fails miserably

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Anybody who ventures out to the driving range must attempt at least one “Happy Gilmore” swing. That’s just common knowledge. But while Adam Sandler makes it look all too easy in the cult classic, some of us know the struggle is real. Take United States women’s national team star Sydney Leroux for example:

It’s a good thing Leroux is wearing Richard Sherman’s “Don’t you ever talk about me” shirt, or else we might be tempted to give her some abuse for this.

She did get the hang of it, though (on her 29th try):

(H/T Deadspin)

20
Feb

FAIL! Fabio Capello names wrong player by same name to Russia squad

image"Wait a second…that’s not the guy! Is that the guy? Hmph!"

Fabio Capello is apparently still getting used to the Russian language and nomenclature. Because according to The Mirror, the Italian manager inadvertently called up the wrong player to Russia’s national team. Seriously.

Capello named 21-year-old Andrey Semenov from Lokomotiv Moscow’s reserve team to his squad for an upcoming friendly against Armenia, when he really tried to call up the more experienced Andrey Semenov, — also a defender — from Terek Grozny. Oops!

As you could imagine, the result of this faux-pas was highly amusing.

The incorrectly selected Semenov said he “was surprised, to say the least,” while Lokomotiv even published a press release on their website declaring the good news. However, it didn’t take long for them to find out this wasn’t, in fact, so. The Russian Football Federation quickly caught the error and apologized.

Poor guy. This is comparable to receiving a fake love letter from your elementary school crush (which may or may not have happened to me).

H/T DirtyTackle